


Fatal Past

by banana_chocolate97, miya_sugar_star



Series: Fatal [ReitaxAoi] [2]
Category: the GazettE
Genre: 10 years later, Alternate Universe - Domestic, Angst, Drama, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Mpreg, Romance, Seme!Reita - Freeform, Sequel, uke!Aoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2018-10-14 21:58:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 35,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10545016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/banana_chocolate97/pseuds/banana_chocolate97, https://archiveofourown.org/users/miya_sugar_star/pseuds/miya_sugar_star
Summary: 10 years passed ever since Akira's & Yuu's ways separated in high school.Where Akira found success in America & returns to Japan with a master's degree and a hand full of opportunities, Yuu struggles with keeping his life on track after the birth of his daughter. His job doesn't pay as well as he'd like it and in addition, there's this charismatic colleague who seems to have taken an interest in him...When Akira suddenly shows up at his doorstep, everything changes and an old fire threatens to be set aflame again.





	1. Prelude I - Yuu

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this sequel and sorry for the terrible cliffhanger at the end of FC! XD

I was pregnant. 

Surprised? Tell me about it. 

Nothing, absolutely nothing, went the way I had planned. I wanted to graduate, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to live with him. I never wanted him to leave and maybe things would have gone differently if he'd told me. But he didn't. 

Instead he left for New York, left me behind. Of course he didn't know about the baby, I didn't tell him. I already knew at the point I broke up with him but wouldn't it have been a distraction for him? He had to focus on so many things, studies and duties and exams, to the point that it seemed like he just ... forgot about me. I know he didn't, he loved me. But I just couldn't take it anymore, the distance, the insecurities, the fact that Natsuko would've grown up not knowing when or if at all she was going to see her father again. 

Trust me when I say I didn't believe a single word of what the doctor told me, nor did I believe the ultra-sound picture when I first saw it. Trust me when I say I had no idea how to explain to my parents that I, a 19-year old male, was pregnant. I have no fucking idea how that worked. Science? The night we spend at his place before his parents shattered everything was the only time we didn't use protection so call it an unhappy coincidence? Whatever.

I spent about two weeks in hospital after her birth (not a natural one, of course) because the doctors said they wanted to keep me in for a little longer just to make sure I was "okay." I don't think I looked okay but they sent me home eventually. 

On the other hand, I don't want to badmouth anything. Natsuko is an angel.

_"Mooooom!"_   
_Yuu coughed while trying to fit the mattress into the baby crib. This flu was really tearing him down, "I'm almost done, Darling, wait a second, hm?"_

_Natsuko giggled and gurgled behind him, not even understanding a word he'd said and yet throwing the little toy blocks around as if she was the happiest person in the world._

_"Mom! Mooooooom! MOMMY!"_

_Yuu sighed. Damn, his back hurt. Thank God he'd already managed to hang up the crib mobile above the bed. Now where did he put the bed tick again?_

_"MO-MMY!"_

_Yuu heaved a breath as he turned around - and froze at the sight of his daughter, on the ground and completely covered in glitter._

_"What th- Darling, what...? Where did you get that glitter from?"_   
_Yuu's frown dissolved into incredulous smile. God, she was just..._

_Kneeling down in front of her, he dodged the small hands happily aiming to slap against his cheeks and instead brushed the pink, sparkly pieces off her raven-colored hair._

_"Come here, you little imp," he laughed, holding her close in his arms after lifting her up. While Natsuko burrowed her head against his neck, Yuu's glance wandered out the window..._

  
She looks a lot like Akira. So much actually that sometimes I can't even look at her without feeling my chest tightening. I had to grow up, quickly. I had to get a job, throw away the dreams of college or university and just ... live. 

I had absolutely no fucking idea how to live. 

And then there's Kouyou. 

As much as I hate to admit it, Kouyou is probably the best thing that happened to me ever since I left Akira. I know he... likes me. He keeps making approaches to me, mostly during coffee break at the office but he never crosses the line. I think it's because he knows about Natsuko. He knows that her father is somewhere out there and maybe he even knows about how conflicted I still feel about Akira, even after ten years. He's nice, really and Natsuko likes him, too. 

But he's not him. He will never be him, no matter how hard he's trying. 

Sometimes I wonder whether Akira still thinks about me, whether he sometimes sits outside on a balcony with a book about something really intelligent in his lap and thinks back to me and how god-damn stupid we were in high-school. The thought makes me laugh.

I think, he might even be back in Japan by now, successful lawyer or professor or whatever he has made his master's degree in. I don't even remember.  
He might just live in Tokyo again and I wouldn't know because I deleted all messages after the break-up and only tried to call him once a few months after that, which ended up in me trying to explain myself to a grumpy, old grandpa. So I had no way to contact him, even if I had wanted to. 

Ten years is a really long time and I ask myself whether he changed just as much as I did. He probably wouldn't even like this new me, would he? I'm all serious now, boring compared to how "crazy" I was back then. Tsk. 

Besides all of that, I think I'm doing pretty well at "living." This office job I have doesn't pay as much as I'd like which mostly results in Natsuko having to relinquish stuff she wants. I hate disappointing her. But I have nice colleagues, including Kouyou, and the apartment I got with help of my parents is actually quite perfect. My parents still support me, financially most of the time, but I can tell that they gradually broke contact throughout the years. I can't blame them, though. 

There are moments when I wish he'd come back to me, when I feel like he's the only one I need in life and in the next second, just that seems like a nightmare.

 


	2. Prelude II - Akira

_What do you think? Is that what you want, Akira?_

From _my_ own heart? Or from other people? 

_We seriously think it’s good for **you** and know you should really go for it._

 The ones who are older, more important, _wiser_ …?

 

Because I’m not one? I _wasn’t_ one?  
  


And that's why I let my family decide nearly everything for me, with the knowledge and hope that things might end up well. And they did. For me. For them, too. And there is nothing else that I could've been more thankful for.

I completed my final year and gained myself a degree, then proceeded until I excellently got hold of an MBA, and with that on forth I settled in with a job, two years in the same country where I studied at my alma mater before I finally, after a long time, returned to Japan.

And I've been living and working here for approximately a year now. Initially, things weren't exactly as I'd thought and how they once used to be (of course). Not easy to handle, but not too difficult either; manageable, in other words. Because it wasn't like it was about getting my life back on track. No, it wasn't a restart either. It was about building something fresh, and new.

Although it reminds me so much of what I had back then.

Because I was younger, a kid, who thought things were actually real, could last forever if I wanted them to. But when I lost _him_ , reality splintered and crumbled, I lost all control over myself. For a moment, I stopped thinking about what I wanted, about what my parents wanted, about what everyone wanted.

I'd been trying to numb the pain by drowning in liquor. I couldn't help it, and I didn't want to stop. Oh, why _should_ I?

But my misery didn’t end there and I just made it worse.

I'd dragged my personal matter to my student life; I skipped classes, no longer visited the library as often, couldn't focus on the group work I put little to zero effort into and slept with a few housemates when most of them I barely recognized or talked to. Fuck buddies and nothing more than that. Because addictive filthy pleasure was all I kept seeking after, mistakes were repeatedly made, together or alone.

The university authority reached out to my parents after the professors raised their concern about my new role of being the absentee in most classes, including several complaints from my colleagues. I was aware I'd disappointed them with my record, shaming the family name because all the awards and accomplishments I'd embedded my name onto meant nothing anymore.

_Didn’t we raise you better?_

It was done privately, when I finally uttered and held onto a sincere vow in front of them to never commit all those self-destructing things again if I wanted to keep up with my study, receive help and save myself before things took an uglier turn.

I fixed and improved myself, also worked extra hard to catch up with others and get to where I am now since I learned my lesson. With the years as a working adult following, I've tried to connect with other men, and also women. But it doesn't matter how good-looking or charming the guys were, how beautiful and sexy the women were because whatever attraction they sparked inside me, it ended up just fading away.

Which always leads me to believing that Yuu is the reason why.  
Why I'm just not ready to establish a serious relationship with any of them.

But there are times when I picture how my life would be like with Yuu if things had been different. At this age, we could’ve been engaged or married, with a home of our own. I would have woken up every morning to see his beautiful sleeping face and I would have come home from work to have the dinner he prepared. Though I know that only makes it harder for me in every aspect of accepting the truth and moving on with my real life especially when he was the one who broke it off with me.

And I don't know how, or why but still, fate called for the past to reach me a day ago, and now I must face a part of it in this café near my working place, after a decade of not being in contact.

_[Unknown number]_

_Hey Reita, I've finally gotten hold of you. Let's meet up somewhere, shall we?_


	3. Contact.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yutaka plays a little game but he's certain there ain't gonna be losers. On the long run. (Or something like that)

Yuu hated hectic mornings more than anything. He got up at 6, prepared breakfast and Natsuko's lunch for school before waking her up. He had a perfectly timed plan for every single morning - but when his daughter decided to be lazy again, absolutely nothing went the way he'd wanted it to.

"Darling, can you hurry up a little? You know I'm supposed to be meeting up with Yutaka at 08:30," he exclaimed while walking past her bedroom. He didn't see it but he was pretty sure that Natsuko rolled his eyes at him.

She'd just turned ten but it was obvious, now more than ever, that she'd inherited her mother's temper.

"I'm almost done, Mom! I- _aagh_ , what- Ugh, _mooom_!"

Yuu stopped in his tracks and hurried back to her. "What— Oh."

Natsuko's head was stuck in one of the pullover's sleeves and he just couldn't help but laugh. "Come here."

Somehow he managed to step across the various toys scattered across the floor before helping her out of her misery. "There you go," he smiled as he pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. And the slightly annoyed look on her face reminded him of Akira. A lot.

"Thanks."

It took them another thirty minutes to get completely ready and it was almost, almost, 8 when Yuu parked in front of her school. "Have a nice day, Honey," he cooed while securing the straps of Natsuko's backpack around her shoulders. "And I know that you'll get that maths test back so don't try to hide it from me!"

She rolled her eyes at him again but nonetheless, stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek.

"Bye mom!"

It was 8:45 when Yuu finally arrived at the café. He blamed traffic. It had been a little while since he'd last seen Yutaka but that didn't make it harder to recognize him, sitting in the coziest corner of the little establishment with a big cup of coffee between his hands.

"Hi," Yuu greeted him breathlessly. "I'm sorry, Natsuko was being... You know, and the god damn traffic just..."

He plonked himself down on the chair opposite his friend.

"Tokyo and its god damn traffic," Yutaka nodded in understanding, a smile kicked up at the corner of his lips. He motioned to the other cup in front of Yuu.

"Ordered mocca for you, hope you don't mind." He sipped his own hot beverage briefly before setting the cup on the table next to his phone, which he brought into his hand. "How is she doing at school?"

With a thankful smile on his lips, Yuu sipped from his drink. "Quite good," he answered after placing the cup back down. "Definitely better than I did back then. Maths is still a bit of a problem but she'll manage."

Then he took a sharp breath-

"Which reminds me," he rummaged through his bag, fishing out his phone, "I have to check back with Kouyou if he can... pick her up today. Ugh."

Yutaka gave Yuu a silent measuring look before dismissing whatever thoughts he had in his mind. It had been years for this Kouyou guy to be such a huge help to Yuu, and by the sound of it, it seemed like he'd become a part of the family. Not that Yutaka was ever going to complain. It was a good thing to lessen someone's burden, someone like a single mother like Yuu, and it was something Yutaka no longer could do anyway, with the workload and marriage he had. Of course, he had his own life as well to care of, and so far Kouyou sounded like a nice guy anyway. Even though they had never actually met in person. But as long as Yuu didn't mention anything negative about Kouyou, and wasn’t being secretive about it either, there was nothing he should be worried about.

He leaned back comfortably in his seat, waiting for Yuu to end his chat.

"So, you know I always have a reason for meeting up with you," he began, a dimpled smile making its way across his face. "Okay, I know you don't have much time so I'll just go straight to the point. One of our classmates wants to organize a reunion. You know, it's been like ten years after high school ended for us. I'll send you the details after this if you wanna know further, but of course, only if you wanna go? Surely you want to meet several of our old colleagues? Oh, and you know what? I heard one of them has just turned to be a young millionaire, owns loads of luxurious cars and has a bald head."

He laughed a little, lifting his cup to sip on his drink. "Don't know if it's true though."

Yuu frowned a little. A classmate reunion? It did sound like fun but...

"Well, when did they plan for it to be held?" he asked, slowly stirring the spoon in his coffee. "I don't know, Yutaka, you know I usually don't..."

He let the phrase hang in the air, keeping his gaze fixed on his mug. If this was a reunion of _everybody,_ it meant that...? He instantly felt his skin crawl.

Yutaka sighed at the expression on Yuu's face, knowing what the other was thinking.

"If you decline like a few others I've talked to, it’ll be so much more less fun. Of course, I understand we all have our own things to do. But hey, think about this: I bet a lot of them want to see what the famous Aoi has been up to after ten years."

Yuu rolled his eyes at his friend with an exasperated sigh. "Yutaka, you know exactly why I don't want to go. It's not because I think nobody wants to see me, it's because-" He stopped, shaking his head. He didn't exactly feel like talking about this. "Don't you think it'll be awkward? What am I supposed to be talking with him, huh? 'Hey Akira, I broke up with you because I was pregnant with your daughter, here she is.'"

He tsked dismissively and leaned back against the chair's backrest.

"Well, I didn't say he was going. Don't even know if he knows about the reunion. No one from our class has been in touch with him, from what I know."

Yutaka shrugged, tapping his finger on the screen of his phone as he focused his gaze on it.

"And I guess awkwardness is a valid reason to use," he nodded with a smile when he looked back up at the raven-haired. "So okay, I'll just accept that."

Judging from his edgy tone, it was obvious he was a bit irritated by Yuu, but it wasn't going to help the matter so it only lasted for a moment of silence.

"I'm sorry." He cleared his throat, lifting a small pastel colored bag from the floor, and placed it on top of the table. "We're too old to argue much anymore." He pushed the filled bag towards Yuu. "A gift for Natsuko. Some candy and a slice of cake."

The clock in Yutaka's phone told him he had ten minutes left to move, so he downed the rest of his coffee to finish it first.

"But seriously, have you ever wandered, what it would be like to finally meet him after all these years? Pushing aside the awkwardness." He crossed his fingers and leaned his chin on them, making sure he was staring straight in Yuu's eyes. "Let's say, for Natsuko's sake. If you had the chance to meet Akira in the future, would you want to go for it?"

Yuu stared back. What was his friend trying to do here?

"I... Don't know?" he replied hesitantly. "M-Maybe. But not at a class reunion. Alone, maybe. Why are you asking?"

He cleared his throat and took the present from the table. "Thanks for this."

And after placing it beneath his own chair, he lifted his gaze back to Yutaka. "Do you think I should...?"

 _Yes_.

 _Run for it. Grab and hold onto it tightly and_ _don't. let. go._

One message popped up on the screen and Yutaka dropped his gaze to his phone, falling silent for some time before he finally said, "Anyway, you still have time to decide for the reunion. Think about it." He drew in a deep breath and released it, standing on his feet and taking his phone. "I’ve got to go now, with this traffic I'd like to avoid arriving late at work."

Stepping close to Yuu, he patted his shoulder firmly. "See you whenever."  
And he left, exiting the cafe and going down the streets to reach his car.

It was quarter past nine, but there were no rays of sunshine as they were blocked by the dark clouds above. Droplets of rain began to descend when the rumble resounded, and Yutaka had to quicken his walk.

Yutaka had actually expected for it not to be easy, but he still had other plans and that was one thing Yuu didn't know of.

He  finished the show at the radio station he worked at perfectly in time. For some reason, he was getting a bit nervous though, at the thought of meeting Akira after all this time. Of course he hadn't told Yuu that he was in contact with his ex-boyfriend again, had been for quite a while actually. Yutaka was curious to see how Akira was going to explain the fact that he'd been in Japan for almost 2 years already but had never gotten in contact with any of them.

The little restaurant Akira had chosen was almost empty compared to the café he'd met Yuu at. When he entered and their eyes met across the room, he could instantly see something like hope flaming up in his old friend's glance.

As much as Yutaka had changed physically over the years, it was the same for Suzuki Akira. Starting from the most noticeable detail, there were no longer the long, bleached bangs to cover his eyebrows. Thick, dark brown hair sprinkled with caramel highlights was what he had now. It worked well with the tan complexion of his skin. And Yutaka didn’t have to take a closer look on him to detect even more changes. 

He no longer wore glasses but wasn’t wearing contacts either. He had probably had some laser eye treatment and compared to his younger days, Akira’s jawline seemed even sharper too, his gaze deeper and filled with determination. Yes, the man himself was looking as intelligent as ever. 

Akira was only wearing a dark blue, crisp shirt, a silver tie firmly settled in its place, but it was enough to tell his job was more on the professional line than Yutaka’s. Akira even looked like he had just come out of the conference room from a meeting, the black designer blazer that fitted his frame was still buttoned. 

“Kai,” the nickname brought a smile to spread widely on Akira’s face. “It’s been so long.”

He rose from his chair when Yutaka stepped closer, he wasn’t going to give the other a handshake, instead, he pulled his friend into a tight embrace, hand patting his back a few times. They looked as if they’d been meeting each other a few times already when this was actually their first time in flesh after all these years. Since there weren’t many people in the area, only a little attention was focused on them. “I missed you a lot.”

No denying, Yutaka was a little surprised by that hug he hadn't expected. Just a little. 

But he returned it, unable to keep himself from thinking how... good Akira looked. So... handsome. 

 _Yuu will fall in love all over again._  

"Hi, I— wow, I'm—" He giggled incredulously as they sat down at the table, opposite each other. "You look good, so... business-y. I think-" 

But at that moment, a waitress arrived and brought him a menu card. Yutaka took it gladly but not without throwing Akira a glance. "Did you order already?" 

Akira shook his head, the smile was still intact on his face.

“No, I was thinking it’d be better to wait for you.”  
  
He didn’t need a menu for himself to read over when he could just casually tell the waitress what he wanted as his afternoon meal. He knew this restaurant like the back of his hand anyway, having brought client after client and colleagues here more frequently than he could remember. 

Once done, he looked back to Yutaka and inhaled deeply, nodding a little. 

“I do look business-like because, I am, in fact, following my father’s footsteps in the business field.” A smile quirked up his lips once again, “What? Bastard, did you forget which school I went to study at?”

Yutaka went for a beer and a middle-sized portion of egg, rice and fish, handing the menu back to the waitress and only responding once she was out of hearing range. 

"No, I didn't forget, don't worry," he chuckled to himself. "If anything, your look makes me remember even more." 

Well. Was it just him or was the mood already getting awkward? Awkward because they both knew they _had_ to talk about Yuu at some point? 

Akira honestly wanted to avoid talking about Yuu, or anything related to him. He was probably going to dodge whatever Yutaka would say about his former lover. But somehow, his heart was telling him that escaping from it would be impossible. Now that he'd met an old, good friend, who was bringing the past with him, Akira admittedly knew, no matter how far he'd gone, he would come back to it. 

Clearing his throat to break the silence, Akira pulled up another smile. "So, how's life going for you? It feels a bit weird to know you're already married, no offense."

Because back then, Yutaka had been the most annoying and one of the craziest friends. For him to change and tie a marriage with someone, or more specifically Takanori, was the last thing Akira would've expected. But people changed. And they weren't getting any younger anyway. 

Yutaka's mouth fell open. "Weird?! Excuse me!" he complained with a laugh, slapping his hand on the table. "Life's been going good, though. Taka's happy with me so I am, too. I love my job. I love our house. I can't really complain, to be honest." 

He nodded thankfully when his drink and the first bowl of his food were brought to him. 

"What about you?" he asked then, focusing his glance on Akira across the rim of his glass. 

Akira had been surprised at Yutaka's outburst, but when he recovered, he chuckled slightly. Regarding Yutaka's job, Akira didn't doubt Yutaka's ability to handle work as such, talking and joking with certain guidelines. Thinking back to their field trip where Yutaka had been the emcee of their evening event, brought the conviction to him. 

He went visibly still when the memories suddenly played before him. Yuu's irritated glares and harsh remarks, the sudden turn of event, heated nights... _Ah, younger and crazier times._  

He waited as his plate was set down and his glass was fillened by the same waitress. 

"Perhaps not as good as yours." 

Akira paused, then shook his head. "I mean, it's not as interesting as it lacks," he cleared his throat, "Variations. I wake up early to work out first, read emails on my phone, go through the scheduled workload... and before I know it, it's already afternoon or even evening. Sometimes I go out for business trips, which I don't think you'd want to hear more details on. And just in case you're curious, I've been working in Japan for around a year now. The previous years were spent abroad." 

"Wait, really?" Yutaka raised his eyebrows. "You've only been back to Japan for a year, not two? Wow." 

 _No wonder I failed at contacting him all this time before..._  

"But sounds like you were successful overall," he smiled and picked up his chopsticks. "Yuu would've-"

 He froze. Fuck.

 _Fuck, I thought you didn't want to mention him??_  

Yutaka cleared his throat uncomfortably. He was forced to avert his eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..." 

 Akira bit out a faint laugh, shaking his head, and strained a response. "It's okay."

But it wasn't, and he wanted to change the topic instantly.  
  
“So, earlier you told me about a reunion...?" he trailed off, lifting an eyebrow at Yutaka. 

 _Ah, that's better._  

"Ah yes!" he quickly swallowed down a portion of rice. "It's a reunion of all our high-school friends! Wouldn't it be great to meet all of them again after ten years?"  

He sipped from his beer, "What do you think?" 

Akira smiled a little. If he remembered well from what Yutaka had mentioned in the text, the reunion was going to being held next week, but...  

"I think it would be really great," he began carefully, "But I have some family matter to settle on the exact day, unfortunately. It's nothing serious though, my sister's baby shower. And I have to be involved as much as I can or else my mom's gonna bust my ass." He laughed at the last part. "I hope you can understand. It is important, and well, a serious thing to my family." 

Truth be told, he was feeling glad both events overlapped. If Yuu was going to the reunion, Akira wouldn't seriously want to go. Hell, if talking or thinking about Yuu was already nearly killing him, what more if they met?

 But a part of him did scream: Things would be alright, no matter how he thought about it. The fatal past, was literally the past; his and Yuu's. And that Akira, as a betrayal to his unspoken words, actually wanted to see Yuu. 

At last, he just had to ask, voice quiet. "Is he going?" 

Yutaka had expected Akira to decline, really. It'd already been hard to get a hold of him before because he was so damn busy so it was logical that he wasn't going to find time for a high-school reunion either. Yutaka didn't doubt his friend's words nor did he think they were just an excuse. 

"Ah, it's okay then, I understand. I-" 

But when Akira's question interrupted him, Yutaka couldn't help but smile. It made him think that Akira _still_ hadn't let go, of anything. 

"No, I guess-," he was interrupted _again_ , this time by his phone vibrating in his pocket. "Excuse me." 

Taking the device out, he opened the message he'd received. His lips turned up into a bitter smile once he saw it was from Yuu. And its content was no surprise either. 

"He's not going. He says he's quite busy with... things lately," Yutaka sighed and threw Akira a brief glance before going back to scratching a few grains of rice off the bottom of his bowl.

 But God damn, he really couldn't shut up. 

"You know..." 

He didn't know how to say it without sounding as if he was intruding upon Yuu's private life. 

"He's just... scared, of seeing you again. Just like you are. And trust me when I say he'd rather chop his hand off than admitting that he misses you sometimes."

 

Akira didn't know what a proper reaction to that would be. But he knew that the first thing he did was staring down at his partly eaten food, feeling like he no longer had the appetite. Should he dismiss what Yutaka said, or should he just give in to the longing desires?

There were no more people to control his life, restrict his moves and order him around. Literally speaking though, his parents _were_ still there. But since Akira was living independently and  working successfully as an adult the way they'd wanted him to, he had the privilege and could do whatever he wanted now. 

And what he truly wanted now was to see _Yuu_ , and find the answer to their break up, despite the consequences Yutaka knew nothing of. But it wasn't anything necessary anyway. It had just been his own fault, how his life had taken that turn to begin with.

 "I miss him, too." Akira admitted with slight difficulty, feeling a bit weak. But he tried to convince himself this was not a defeat of his.

  _Yuu missed him, they both fucking missed each other_. 

"And the only thing that can cure this... is to meet up with him, don't you think?" 

But like Yutaka had said, Yuu wasn't going to the reunion, nor was Akira. So they couldn't meet there. Unless... 

Yutaka began chewing on his lip. Damn, this was a real between-the-chairs situation that he'd gotten himself into, huh? 

At first, the idea in his head had been one you'd throw away instantly but now that he looked at Akira and the almost miserable expression on his face, he thought otherwise. 

"Fuck this," he cursed under his breath before rummaging through his bag to retrieve a small note pad and a pen.

"He's going to kill me for doing this, that's for sure," he mused while scribbling down Yuu's address. "But maybe that is just what needs to happen. Not him murdering me but..."

 He looked up once he was done, pushing the piece of paper across the table with a sincere countenance. 

"But you guys meeting again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who voted and commented so far, it means a lot! <3


	4. Ringing the bell.

Today's morning was definitely colder than the previous one. Kouyou's hands felt like they were going to turn into icicles if he kept on struggling to unlock the padlock, and he'd been doing so for nearly ten _god damn_ minutes. He better kept in mind to tell their employer to make a new key to replace this rusty one.

Once it was finally unlocked, he gave a long sigh of relief, lifting his head in attention when he heard high school girls giggling faintly as they passed by. He smiled at them, which caused them to smile back shyly.

Turning the lights on was the first thing he did after he shuffled inside further and past the long, half-circular counter, before he finally stepped in the office section of the store. He didn't need to turn around to look at who had just entered the place when he heard the footsteps, because he knew they were among the few sales associates working there.

Checking the time on his phone, he knew Yuu would probably arrive in about ten minutes. After placing his bag on his seat, Kouyou turned on his PC and went around his desk to fix coffee for two at the coffee machine up ahead.

He waited for the machine to brew after inserting the first capsule. He'd chosen dark roast for Yuu, knowing his close friend had always liked that kind of black coffee. Or... should he himself go for that one, and choose caramel latte for Yuu? Something different wouldn't hurt anyway. He smiled slightly and picked the desired capsule.  


Yuu yawned when he stepped out of the elevator and trudged down the hallway towards his and Kouyou's office. The smell of coffee was lingering in the air and once he stepped through the door-

"Ugh, you're a God, Kouyou!" It took him three seconds to plonk his bag down on his table, pick up the cup and take a gulp.

"Mm, oh god, is that Caramel? Mm..."

That was exactly what he'd needed this morning, especially because he'd totally missed drinking his coffee at home.

Kouyou was smiling brightly at him once Yuu was finally sitting down on his chair. "Good morning," he said with a charming sparkle to his eyes.

"Morning," Yuu replied, trying to ignore the tingling feeling in his stomach.

He was used to it by now, Kouyou being all friendly and extra attentive with him but that didn't mean he could stop his bad conscience from rushing to the surface from time to time. Because actually, he didn't - and couldn't - return any of the feelings he knew Kouyou harbored for him.

But Kouyou never crossed the line. The man himself understood, there was something like an unspoken rule between them that had existed ever since they had gotten to know each other better.

It hurt, but that was something he'd been swallowing for so long that he'd gotten used to it. Even though there were times it throbbed like hell, and Kouyou nearly couldn't withstand it. Banishing his feelings, though? No way.

But the only thing he knew he could do to maintain their friendship was to keep being nice to Yuu, with the help of a tiny hope, and a bit of strength to go through his working days.

Because who knew, Yuu might just fall for him one day? Slowly, but _surely_?

Kouyou dropped his gaze to the stack of papers he was reading, and after a moment, asked the usual question. "So, do you want me to pick Natsuko up at school today?"

Yuu leaned back in his chair, with his eyes focused on the fan at the ceiling and his coffee between his hands.

"I'm not sure yet, she might have afternoon classes."

After clearing his throat, he reached for the screen and switched it on. The meeting with Yutaka from 3 days ago was still stuck in his mind. Was it because they had, more or less, talked about Akira again after such a long time that he hadn't thought about him anymore?

"I'll let you know, okay?" he smiled, though it was weak, while rubbing his fingertips across his forehead.

"Okay," Kouyou gave a tiny nod, getting slightly distracted by the tone in Yuu's voice and it made him feel concerned.

"Are you alright? You said you met Yutaka before... ?"

"Yeah sure," Yuu quickly replied and pushed his chair away from the table, getting up and walking over to one of the shelves that they stored the customer files in. Could he let Kouyou know what was actually going on?

"We had brunch together and talked a bit. Some people from high-school are planning... a reunion, for everyone from back then."

His eyes brushed across the names of various folders but he didn't really read any of them.

"I don't think I'll go, though."

Kouyou opened his mouth, but decided to close it again. A high school reunion sounded fun, even though he and Yuu hadn't been to the same school. But if his own high school friends were to plan a reunion, he would definitely join it. Because why not?

But then he remembered something Yuu had once told him, a part of Yuu, and a part of Natsuko that was probably the reason Yuu was reluctant to going to the meet-up. What was the name again? He tried to think of it, went through his previous conversations with Yuu, and when it surfaced in his mind, he wished he'd forgotten it.

_Suzuki Akira._

Oh hell. He didn't like this. No, he didn't like _him_.

He carefully chose his words. "Well, you still have a lot of work to settle anyway."

And tried to be as neutral as possible. "But I guess you can go if you manage to get it all done in time."

Yuu sighed inwardly. Kouyou's tone of voice was giving it all away. Although he didn't know anything but that Akira was Yuu's ex and Natsuko's father, his dislike towards Akira had always been clearly unmistakable.

"Yeah, I know," he ended up replying and pulled one of the folders out of the shelf. "But I think they planned to do it on a weekday so it'll be hard anyway. And I won't find someone for Natsuko either."

Yuu shrugged. He felt Kouyou's eyes on him and it was making him a little bit uncomfortable so he tried to dodge the topic, throwing the blond just a brief glance.

"Um, do you know how that deal with Shirokatsu went? The one with the diamond bracelets?"

Kouyou snapped out of his trance and moved to open the lowest drawer of his desk, giving a tiny, quick nod when their eyes met. "Yeah, it went well, though he wasn't convinced to buy it at first because of the price. But when his daughter saw it she just couldn't stop insisting on him buying it." He smiled widely when his hand met the file he was searching for and took it out.

"And you know what? I somehow managed to show one of your necklace designs to him. Totally got him hooked the first time he laid his eyes on it. He said it would be nice to make it as another gift for her birthday next month." 

He opened the file and took out a few thick working papers. "I got the boss to look over these prior, and if all goes well, your necklace design will be put into the upcoming seasonal line sale along with the others."

Spreading some of the sheets on the desk, he read over the details on the clean cuts, materials and images from different angles of the necklace Yuu had somehow _secretly_ designed a few weeks back. It was pure beauty, captivating and it matched their company's brand aesthetics so well that Kouyou just couldn't let this all go to waste. 

Yuu blinked at him.

Kouyou had _what?_

Designing jewelry had always been just a hobby of his and even when the boss himself had complimented him for a few of his pieces, he never would've expected for any of them to be produced. And now Kouyou had brought his connections to bear and...?

"You what?" he breathed out incredulously while his eyes flew across the fully colored designs on the pieces of paper before him. "You mean... they're going into production?"

His heart had begun to race. That meant he was going to... be known? He was going to get a bit of extra money too, right? If they sold well? That was probably why Kouyou had done this for him anyway. After so many attempts of helping Yuu financially and always being rejected, the blond had found another way to help.

"Kouyou, I... I don't know what to say. I really didn't expect that."

He looked up at his colleague with a sincere, happy smile on his lips. Just why, oh _why_ , couldn't Yuu return those feelings? Why for fuck's sake was Akira _still_ stuck in his head?

Kouyou's smile turned pleasant at the sight of a happy Yuu. And he was happy because of Kouyou, no one else. "Hmm, thank me when your creation has been given the green light. And I say, we should celebrate it when the time comes?"

"We should!"

Wow, that sounded enthusiastic. A bit too much, maybe. Yuu faltered a little and giggled, looking around.

"I mean, I guess the whole office should celebrate? I mean, maybe they'll be happy for me too, so..."

Fuck, he was starting to blush. It was too damn obvious that he wanted to prevent any possibility of him and Kouyou being alone together in a more private space.

_God damn Yuu, you're 29 years old, why are you behaving like a kid?!_

"Well, that depends on you." 

Kouyou chuckled a little. "Save your happiness for that day. You've got lots of work to do now." He waved a hand playfully, shooing Yuu to go back to his desk.

"Okay okay, fine," Yuu giggled and sat back down while Kouyou gathered the photos together.

It was a bit easier to focus on his work throughout that day. Kouyou took the usual care of him, in a loving but extremely subtle way. The caramel coffee beside his laptop was never empty and the blond paid for their sushi and shiitake at lunch, as always.

Kouyou picked Natsuko up, even after afternoon school, and brought her back to the office so she could spend the rest of the day there until Yuu went home at 5:30.

Yuu was seriously wondering whether his daughter considered Kouyou to be some kind of... step-father, given the fact that she hadn't even met Akira before, didn't even know he existed, for that matter. Now that he was stirring in the soup he was making for dinner, he noticed that she had never asked about Akira before. Not once?

_Maybe she thinks he's dead and you just haven't told her yet._

A frown appeared on Yuu's face. Hm.

***

Akira didn't have any idea how long he'd been staring at the map on his phone, but he knew it must've been quite a while, considering he felt a mild ache on his back when he finally moved a bit on the seat.

_Kai (Mon, 1:16 PM)  
_ _Bring some girly gifts. Don't ask me why._

This had been bothering him. Well, he really wanted to know _why_. He'd sent a reply to Yutaka but the other merely ignored him. So he had ended up buying a feminine type of a present, some expensive chocolates and cupcakes...

Yuu had a thing for girly stuffs it seemed...??

That was the only legit reason he could think of. And he really should get out of the car now, despite the feeling of reluctance in his gut.

If the address shown on the map was correct, then he shouldn't be worried about Yutaka possibly messing around with him.

Truth be told, Akira was now worried how it'd be like to see Yuu. Awkward was the first thing he was expecting. And well... he hoped his hair and working attire still looked okay, since he'd straight off left the company to head over to a bakery shop to buy the gift so ... he hadn't been able to change.

Akira took a deep breath. Nervous? He laughed a little. _Fuck, of course he was_. But what could he do about it anyway?

Turning off the engine, he took the pretty bag containing the little presents and closed the door, locking the car.

"Here goes nothing."

 _Ah, adult Yuu._ What did he look like now? Yutaka had been an ass not wanting to show any recent pictures of Yuu. Last thing Akira could remember was the 19-year-old teenager looking heartbroken on the screen of his PC a decade ago. He bit his lip when guilt assaulted him, slowing his pace right before he could reach the elevator. The image was swirling in his mind now, consuming him bit by bit. 

No, no, no he shouldn't be thinking about that. Think of a happy Yuu. Think of when he was giggling and laughing. Think of the sweet memories they'd both shared.

He headed inside the elevator. And when he reached the correct floor, Akira felt a sudden surge of energy washing over him as he walked down the hallway and stopped in front of apartment 76.

He quickly pressed the doorbell, way too scared he'd get second thoughts about the entire thing if he were to hesitate.

He waited with a loudly beating heart, anxious he was going to get turned down but it didn't even take ten seconds until the sound of running noises reached his ears. He wasn't mistaken...? Little, yet quick steps? His thoughts were interrupted though just as soon as the lock was turned and the door swung open—

Revealing a young girl, standing at the height of about his stomach, with her raven hair tied into two small pony tails.

Akira was surprised more than ever, having not expected to see _someone else_. He blinked down at the girl for a few moments before his mind made its own assumption.

_Yuu's little sister? Err, uh... wrong address...?_

"Hello," Akira said, and smiled despite the awkwardness. "May I know if this is Shiroyama Yuu's apartment?"  


Yuu glanced at the kitchen clock. It was almost 7:30, who could be visiting him? Admittedly, it wasn't that late but he wasn't really used to being visited by someone, unless it was Yutaka or his parents. Or maybe Kouyou. Oh, was it Kouyou?

Yuu sighed but seeing Natsuko running down the hallway conjured a little smile on his face. _Always so full of life, this little angel._

Yuu had expected the visitor to be for him anyway so he'd already quickly settled their bowls into the dish washer before heading barefoot down the hallway. Ugh, he actually just wanted to shower and sleep. And he felt the beginning of a headache at the back of his head, too.

Placing a hand on his daughter's shoulder, he guided her away from the front door.

"Darling, who-"

Yuu's expression fell the second he had lifted his eyes.

He looked so ... _different._

While his throat turned into a dry wasteland, he could almost feel the shock written on his face.

His hair was brown and his facial features were so much sharper, drawn by ten years of hard, ambitious work, but no way in hell Yuu would _ever_ forget his eyes.

"A-Akira..."


	5. Arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quuuiiite a lengthy chapter today! xD Hope you enjoy :)

It _was_ the right place.

 Because here Akira was, shocked and frozen at the spot, staring right into Yuu's equally aghast gaze. He couldn’t _believe_ the meal fate had just served for him.

 "Yuu..." Akira said, barely above a whisper. Yuu looked so much more mature, beautiful with those full soft-looking lips. His midnight hair seemed a little longer, grown and kept to shoulder length.

 He already didn’t keep his eyes off Yuu, didn't think he could and ever would. He felt as if time had really just stopped for them. But when his mind reminded him about the gift he'd brought, Akira suddenly felt embarrassed altogether, dropping his eyes down to the floor as he tried so much not to display the nervousness he was feeling right now.

  _Don't screw it up, don't screw it up..._

 "Uh, yeah. It’s me. I, um, met Kai the other day and… he gave me your address." He nodded a little and braved a smile when he looked back at Yuu and the young girl, who was probably a relative. Ah, right, so the girly gifts were meant for _her_...

  _Damn it, Uke Yutaka. You could've just told me and saved me the headache._

 "For you, young lady," he placed the bag in her small hands, feeling his smile widen when she looked up at him with a surprised and excited look. She clutched it against her chest happily before she bowed.

 "Thank you!" 

"You're welcome." Akira chuckled, glad the awkwardness was starting to ease between them. But between him and Yuu? He glanced at the other man, smiling a bit as he scratched his head.

 "May I come in?"

 "Yutaka? He- "

 Yuu was left speechless while he watched the exchange between Akira and Natsuko. How had he even known to bring something?! Oh right. **_Yutaka_**.

 Gulping hard at the small, charming smile the brunet gave him, Yuu blinked briefly as if ripping himself out of the daze he'd been in and— began stuttering.

 "I-I... Y-Yeah, um, sure," he didn't even fucking hesitate, not for the _blink_ of an eye, "I'll just, um... I mean- "

 He stepped, almost stumbled, aside to let Akira enter. It felt really, really, really awkward. They hadn't been talking for literally a decade and here Akira was, grown and adult-y and _so_ handsome, walking into his apartment as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do.

 "I'll just... bring Natsuko to bed. Honey, come on, give me this," Yuu crouched down to take the small bag from his daughter but she refused to let it go. That happy smile was still plastered all across her face. God damn it.

 Yuu sighed and straightened again, brushing his fingers through her raven hair. "I'll be right back," he muttered at Akira though he wasn't even sure whether the other had heard or understood him. Akira was just... staring.

 Hell, Akira really was, and he had this strange that stopped him from… stopping. There was something about this new Yuu, the way he interacted with the girl...Yuu just gave off that motherly vibe, besides looking more responsible and caring.

 This current Yuu was definitely a huge surprise to Akira, but he would get himself used to him sooner or later.

 After seating himself on one of the couches, Akira glanced around the living room, unbuttoning his blazer and as he removed it, he felt a little more relaxed. He was only wearing a white crisp shirt today, but that was more than enough to leave the hard muscles noticeable underneath the clothing, making his stance look powerful.  

The whole area looked simple and neat, descent-sized flat screen on the wall, warm red oak flooring and the light color of the walls gave out a calming atmosphere. Even though, they were covered with Hello Kitty, Rilakkuma and other various stickers at the lower parts and Akira supposed it was probably the girl's doing. He smiled.

 

When he saw Yuu stepping into the living room, Akira straightened up and looked in the direction the other had just come through. 

"Who's the little girl?” he asked curiously, “her name is... Natsuko, right? If I had heard it well."

 Yuu stood in the doorway, tense like a broom and unable to move much just because he couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing. Akira looked like a business man, like some kind of CEO who had hundreds of people working underneath him. Yuu didn't even doubt that Akira would manage to get a position like that, considering how hard he'd been working ever since high-school. 

But now he had to come up with an excuse. Damn.

 "She, uh... She's my..."

 Well, what was she?

 "Um... M-My niece."

 Yuu couldn't look at him, too many thoughts and pictures and memories and _feelings_ were all coming back.

 He turned around, closed his eyes briefly, and then headed towards the small kitchen. "Do you want something to drink?"  
  
Akira could feel his own smile slipping away slowly, having looked at Yuu's expression just now and thinking about it. The raven was probably feeling uncomfortable with his unexpected visit, and his presence here... 

"Yes, please. Some coffee would be nice, thank you." 

He sighed a little, feeling a bit drained as he fished out his phone.

 

Reita (Mon, 8:50 PM)  

_Dude, why didn't you tell me Yuu had a niece? Seriously....  And she's such an adorable girl. Looks a lot like Yuu. She's probably of the same age like my nephews. Does she come to his place often? 'Cause it looks like it, and it seems like whenever I'm going to pay them a visit next time, I’ll have to prepare cute gifts._

  

Yutaka choked on his drink, surprising the small dog on his lap as he hacked a few times. 

 _Niece_? Yuu didn't even have any god damn sibling! 

Yutaka was so tempted to write that down as a reply. But… no. That was Yuu’s job.

 "Are you alright?" Takanori asked right after he scooped their pet into his arms, scratching its neck gently. 

"Yeah, I am. Sorry. Just read something that's, uh," Yutaka sighed as he slumped back against the couch, staring at his phone and wondering how to answer Akira’s text. He had told Takanori about him meeting Akira days ago, and him giving Yuu's address away. But telling him about the _lie_ Yuu was using right after Akira had met their own daughter was something he didn't want to do yet... 

Alright, Yutaka was trying to be understanding. 

Kai (Mon, 8:52 PM)  

_It's not necessary actually. But it would be very  thoughtful of you to do it. Though Yuu probably won’t like it if you're gonna do it to the point of spoiling her (lol)_

 Reita (Mon, 8:53 PM)  

_The way you say that makes him sound like a real mother haha. But he does look like one..._

  

Yutaka nearly facepalmed himself.

*

Yuu's hands were shaking as he pressed the coffee capsule into its machine. Or was it just his mind playing tricks on him? _Fuck_. 

 

_"Who is that?" Natsuko asked after Yuu had tugged her into her Rilakkuma blankets._  
  


_"Just a friend I haven't seen in a while."_  
  


_"He looked at you weirdly."_  
  


_Yuu chuckled and brushed his fingers through his daughter's hair. "He did? The things you notice..."_  
  


_B_ _ut he brought me cake so I like him."_  
  


_"I- Yeah_ _, that was nice of him. Sleep now."_  
  


_"Goodnight mom."_   
  


_"Goodnight darling."_

  

Yuu wanted to god damn cry. The mere way Akira was sitting on his couch, the way he instantly lifted his gaze once Yuu came back with his cup of coffee and the way his eyes brushed across his body like a laser, within seconds, and with a smile tugging at his lips. All of it made Yuu want to cry.

 "Milk and two cubes of sugar," he pressed out while holding the mug out to Akira. "I remembered."

 His laugh sounded terribly forced.

 Hearing that, Akira gave a wordless, seemingly appropriate response; smiling slightly when he took the warm mug from Yuu's hand. Despite how he tried to avoid any physical contact, his rough fingertips just had to _accidentally_ brush against the other's skin, which made him freeze midway for a split second. It was tingling and lingering even after Yuu had left to sit across from him on the other couch.

 Akira had to distract himself and took a sip of the coffee. The temperature was just right, creamy and the bittersweet taste was balanced, absolutely the way he usually liked it. It just proved Yuu's words and it made Akira feel so touched, how the other still remembered such a little thing.

 He quietly set the half-drunk mug on the coffee table before him, and broke the hanging silence.

 "How have you been doing?"

 Yuu tugged his legs beneath himself on the couch, stirring the spoon around in his own drink. 'How have you been', tsk. If this wasn't the most cliché situation, Yuu didn't know what was.

 "Um, well, I guess. I'm working at... An office, at a jewelry company."

 He tried a smile and it worked out just fine. "Doesn't pay as much as I'd like but...," he shrugged, "It's fun."

 Sipping from the mug, he darted just a brief glance across the rim of it. Akira's gaze was... Not intimidating but... Shaking? It was almost as if it was piercing right through Yuu's bones. And his heart. 

"What about you? You look... quite... business-y." 

Akira was glad to know Yuu had a job at a jewelry company, since the other had always loved metal accessories like piercings and all when he was younger. This made Akira nearly ask about the belly piercing, whether or not the other was still wearing it, but he restrained himself because he didn't want to… embarrass himself? It would be like asking something too personal. 

He clasped his trembling hands together and nodded. "I've been doing fine, and well... I'm working in the business field anyway. So, yeah..." he trailed off, thinking he didn't need to explain further on the matter. 

Silence returned. 

Right, Akira had no other topics he could think of  talking about with Yuu. Damn it. How long had he been here again? Ten? Fifteen minutes? Why did it suddenly feel cold around here? Was the heater not working?

 

"I missed you." 

Akira went frozen completely, lips parting in surprise when he stared back at Yuu. Which one of them had said _that??_

Fuck, turned out it was _Akira_. Holy shit, it was supposed to be just a _though_ , nothing to actually come out of his mouth!

 But since it had, Akira had no choice but to continue.

 "I _really_ did. The whole years, since our..." _Break up_. But he wasn't able to bring himself to say it. It was still painful.

 Yuu's eyes shot up.

 "Wh-what-?"

 A hard gulp crawled down his throat, his breathing accelerated. Fuck, this was totally not planned.

 "I-..."

 He took a trembling breath, averting his gaze back down into his cup of coffee. "Did you..."

  _Damn, do I really want to know?_

 "Did you only visit to tell me that?" he whispered questioningly.

 Akira took a deep breath as well and shook his head. "No. I actually just wanted to really see you because I missed you...," he lifted his hard gaze, "and wanted to know why you broke up with me."

 Yuu sighed, softly.

 "Akira..."

 It felt odd, as he turned his glance through the window and into the night sky on the other side.

 "I don't think we should be having that conversation right now."

 Yuu didn't want to do this, pushing Akira away like that felt terrible but... Telling him about Natsuko, that the girl he'd given the gifts to was actually his own daughter, was no option at all either. His cheeks felt hot.

 "I... honestly don't know what to say."

 Akira pressed his fingertips against the knuckles tightly and nodded reluctant but understandingly, despite feeling beyond disappointed. It seemed like he probably needed to wait another ten years for Yuu to finally tell him the answer. Funny. He almost laughed, _almost_.

 "I'm sorry. For bringing it up." He bit the words out one by one, taking his mug back into his hand and drinking from it quickly without even tasting it this time. "Kai said you're not going to the reunion this Wednesday. Why?"

 "Kai? What-"

 Yuu was baffled. How much had Yutaka even told Akira about him? At least he hadn't told him the truth about Natsuko, seeing as Akira had believed the excuse he'd come up with.

 "I'm busy," Yuu replied almost emotionlessly. "I don't have anybody to take care of Natsuko that evening either, so."

 "I see," Akira said, but didn't nod his head, "I'm not going either 'cause I've got some things to settle." He tilted the mug in his hands slightly from side to side, going silent for some a few seconds. Since there was nothing else left to talk about, he figured he should take his leave now.

 "Well, it was nice talking with you." He placed the empty coffee back on the table and gave a flat, bitter smile, taking his blazer and putting it on before he stood up. He was irritated by himself, hadn't seen the awkwardness of their conversation coming and what was worse? He hadn't been prepared and had let his emotions get the better of him. Spilling words that weren't supposed to be spilled.

 He walked up to the front door, opened it and before he left the apartment, he heard himself say, "I'm very sorry for coming here. If you don't mind… I'd love to pay another visit." 

Yuu gulped as he followed Akira to the door. 'If you don't mind'? Tsk, of course Yuu didn't mind. Did he?

 He released a shaky breath and managed to nod his head lightly. 

"Of- I m-mean, sure." 

Their eyes locked for the briefest of seconds but it was enough to make him feel like his blood was starting to boil. He had to look away and with how his hand was placed on the door knob, it was obvious enough that he just wanted Akira to leave. 

And Akira did, after smiling and waving at him half-heartedly. 

And when he closed the door behind him, and the realization _that Akira was back_ finally hit him, Yuu started crying.

***

The weight of Yuu's sigh was almost as big as the one of the folder he plonked down onto his desk.

 It had been three days since Akira's surprise visit and Yuu hadn't talked about it to anyone yet. He didn't even know how he felt about it himself so he was rather unsure whether talking would help. Maybe he should give Yutaka a call though. Or his mom.

 In addition, Kouyou next to him was giving him one of those looks again. One of those looks that said "I know you're not okay but I'm going to squeeze an answer out of you anyway." Yuu wasn't prepared for this conversation, not. at. all.

 "Are you alright? Talk to me Yuu," Kouyou sighed softly and turned himself completely away from the PC. It was obvious that he was deeply worried about the other, had been observing that the previous days Yuu had been strangely quiet for most of the time and he just needed to know why, what or who had caused it. "I'm here to listen."

 Yuu looked at him briefly, conflicted. Kouyou was just worried about him so Yuu knew he couldn't be mad at him for asking. And with how close he and Kouyou had become over the years, Yuu almost felt some kind of duty to let his friend now about what was going on.

 "Um... Akira, he..."

 Kouyou's jaw tensed immediately. Fuck.

 "He... came over for a visit, a few days ago."

 This was… more than difficult for Kouyou. It was more than difficult to believe and _accept_ that Akira had finally made a reappearance in Yuu’s life, when he’d thought the guy had gone for good and never _fucking_ wanted to return.

 “After all this time?” Damn, he sounded sarcastic. Not even five minutes ago his concern over Yuu was deep and now he was feeling pissed. Kouyou bit the corner of his lips, looking away and huffed heavily. “How did it go then?”

 Yuu rubbed his fingertips over his creased forehead. "It was... awkward. I... couldn't tell him about Natsuko of course but..."

 The end of Yuu's phrase faded into a sigh. "I don't understand why he's showing up now of all times."

 And he could tell that Kouyou wasn't really happy about this, a certain coldness had settled in his eyes. Yuu hated it.

 But Kouyou couldn't help it. It was something he couldn't control. But the more he thought of it, it wasn't doing him any good anyway. And it wasn't necessary.

 "I don't think it'd be a great idea to tell him," Kouyou couldn't even say his name, "about Natsuko, just saying if you suddenly feel like you might need to do that. What if he can’t believe it and, who knows, leaves again and never shows up anymore? And Natsuko seems perfectly fine without her real dad even until now, right?"

 "Of course she does, but..."

 Yuu leaned back and sighed exasperatedly, really looking at Kouyou for the first time today. "Do you really think that she's not wondering where he is? Or if he even cares about her?"

 "Well, has she ever asked about him?" Kouyou avoided Akira's part, crossing his arms. "No, right?" 

 Yuu lifted an eyebrow. "Kou..."

 He  swallowed. "Do you really not understand what I mean? I have no idea what to do now, he... he knows where I live and he- I-..."

 He shook his head before hiding his face in both hands.

 Kouyou sighed heavily, turning back to face his PC. "I'm sorry, Yuu. I just can't seem to give you any good advices. I'd like to focus on my work now and you should too."

 Great. That was exactly what Yuu hadn't wanted to happen. He turned back to his own computer but it only took him a minute before he was facing Kouyou again.  
  
"Can you come over tonight? Keep Natsuko busy for a bit, just so I can...?" Yuu knew Kouyou couldn't deny him anything. Kouyou was, in fact, fighting for every ever so tiny chance to spend time with him in private and even though Yuu was aware of the risk it carried, he just needed some time to be alone, maybe soak in a bath for an hour straight. And he couldn't do that when his daughter was jumping around the apartment (as cruel as that sounded.) 

"Of course." Kouyou nodded slightly, although he didn't look right at Yuu this time. But at least the tension that had taken over him was slowly disappearing.

***

Yuu yawned and stretched his arms above his head. A nice, warm bath had indeed been exactly what he needed. However, there was one thing he still had to take care of...

 Turning on his stomach with the water gurgling softly around his body, Yuu reached for his phone that he'd placed on a small side table.

 He dialed Yutaka's number but didn't even let him say Hello when he picked up.

 "What exactly went through your head when you decided to give him my address, huh, you smart-ass?"

 Yutaka was taken aback at _that_ , but he wasn't questioning it. "Alright, you called me because of that. You have a problem? It wasn't anything bad. He just missed you as much as you did, and I swear to God I had to make you both meet again." He held a finger. "Hold your anger and listen to me. I'm sorry I didn't ask your permission about giving your address away and not telling you about his visit. But I suppose if I had, you would’ve found the most ridiculous excuse to avoid him.”

 Yuu tsked. "And you really thought it'd be a good idea to just...?"

 He sighed. "Yutaka, do you have any idea how shocked I was when he showed up at my door?! I wasn't prepared at all!"

 "You think I care?" Yutaka laughed a little in amusement. "Hey, at least it was a nice surprise. He's too good-looking now, I bet you had a hard time believing it was him."

 "You-"

 Yuu found himself flustered. "That's _not_ the point!" he affirmed. "I had to lie to him about Natsuko, do you have any idea how wrong that felt? What if he shows up again, huh?"

  _Oh he better not._

 "What if he starts realizing how much she looks like him?"

 "Then you gotta tell him, Yuu. Do _you_ realize how important it is for him to know? And he deserves the knowledge; the truth. And I'm certain you yourself won't be able to live with that lie any longer."  
  
Pushing a hand into his pants pocket, Yutaka breathed in deeply. "I know it must be difficult for you, but Natsuko needs her real dad in her life and _you_ need to tell her that it’s Akira."

 Yuu poked the soapy bubbles swimming atop the water, a sigh escaping him. "I know..."

 He hated having to admit things, he really did.

 "I'm... I'm afraid I'm going to lose Kouyou if I... let Akira back in. He's done so much for me these past years and..."

 My god, this was fucking frustrating.

 "I understand, Yuu. Really, I do. But what's your priority now with all of this? Unrequited love or the future of your daughter?"

 Yuu groaned as he closed his eyes and let his head tip back. "You're terrible, Yutaka."

 He was terrible because he was right. Yutaka was right. Natsuko was his priority, had to be. She deserved knowing who her father was, didn't she?

 Another exasperated sigh followed. 

"Fine, I... I'll think it through."

 "Take your time." Yutaka breathed a sigh of relief. "You've been keeping this from Natsuko for ten long year, the day to let both of them know will come no matter what."

*

"Kou!" Natsuko shrieked above Kouyou's head. "I can't paste this sticker if you keep jumping like this!"  
  
She grumbled, her round cheeks puffing with slight annoyance as she kept holding her arm around Kouyou's neck.

 "I'm sorry," the blond chuckled and stood on his toes, standing a bit taller just so Natsuko's hand could reach the aimed spot on the wall, above the doorway to her bedroom.  "Why did you choose that one?"

 Natsuko waved one of the adorable new stickers in Kouyou's face, which he tried to avoid with a soft laugh.

 "Because this black kitty is sleeping on a cloud. Aren't clouds usually up in the sky, no? So I must paste it at a higher place." She struggled to do it, arm shaking a little before she suddenly threw both of them in the air. "Yay, I did it!"

 "Yay! Good job. Hmm, that does look nice." He gave Natsuko a high-five, and she returned it happily. "Aren't you scared of your dad finding out about it though?"

 "Nooo," She shook her head cutely, pointing in the living room direction while jumped on Kouyou's back. "I need more stickers, Kou!"

 "Yes, yes—oww, _ow_! My back!" A bubbly laugh escaped his mouth as he stumbled a little before moving along the hallway, turning his head to the side slightly at the sound of the doorbell suddenly ringing. Natsuko gasped.

 "It could be the pizza guy! Quick, Kou!"

 "Oh, God. Okay, okaaaay," Kouyou rolled his eyes playfully and, as a surprise, practically sprinted towards the front door with a screaming Natsuko on his back. When they finally arrived, Kouyou opened the door without a moment of hesitation, only to shock himself at the sight next.

 Pizza guy was not, a stranger he was, yes. Who could only stare back at him, looking equally surprised.  
  
 "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Akira finally said, looking over to Natsuko who was waving excitedly from behind Kouyou’s shoulders. "I'm here… to see your uncle Yuu. Also brought a present for you." He looked to the small girl once again, his smile not faltering.

 " _Uncle_ Yuu?" Kouyou asked, and looked over his shoulder to exchange confused glances with Natsuko. "Yuu is no uncle to you, is he?"

 "No, no. Yuu is my mom," She giggled with a shake of her head before Kouyou placed her down, and it was Akira's turn to feel confused altogether now.

  _"What?"_

 "Who are you, by the way?" Kouyou frowned a little at Akira, suddenly having a bad feeling about this guy and the whole situation.

 "Mom said he's a friend," Natsuko answered truthfully, but that wasn't what Kouyou wanted to hear. 

"Ah, yes." Akira cleared his throat, extending a hand. "Suzuki Akira."

*

Yuu was just stepping out of the bathroom, wrapped up in a downy bathrobe and a small towel around his neck, when the voices reached his ears and basically every single alarm bell started _yelling_ inside his head.

 Hurrying down the hallway, he was welcomed by the sight of a gaping Akira in front of his door, staring at Kouyou and Natsuko in a mixture of both surprise and suspicion. And once Kouyou saw  the expression on Yuu's face, he knew what was up and anger started distorting his features.

 "What the hell are _you_ \- "

 "Akira," Yuu cut him off, stepping closer to the doorway and prompting Kouyou to step back a little at the same time.

 He'd brought another gift for Natsuko, too.

 Yuu gulped. "What are you doing here?"

 What kind of question was _that_? Akira felt like he really had come here at the wrong time. And judging from the look on Yuu's face, the other man's as well, totally made him feel...

 Feeling an intense, hardened gaze on him, Akira focused his attention on Kouyou completely. The man totally looked as if he was having his guards on, and wasn’t liking Akira's presence here. It was obvious enough.

 Then realization sank in.

 If Yuu was truly Natsuko's father, then that meant he'd _lied_ to Akira before. And this other guy who had been playing with the girl was probably Yuu's lover or fiance or… _whatever_. Akira should've known about this.

 Fuck, he despised what he'd just discovered. The three of them looked like the perfect family, but he nearly couldn't look at them properly. How terrific. Of course, it had been ten freaking years since their break up anyway. Yuu just had to build his own life with someone else and he didn't need Akira in it. He'd thrown Akira away a long time ago.

 It just fucking made sense.

 Akira had finally found the answer he'd been seeking for, and it was tearing everything inside him apart. The shadow of the broken teenager he'd once been was coming back to haunt him, hearing no voices other than the devil's whispered,,dark ones...

 Akira's facial features went grim. Sending a forced, soft smile to Natsuko, he handed her a plastic bag with a tiny music box in it, before he turned to look at Yuu, eyes frozen with no emotions as he spoke.

 "I'm very sorry. I just came here to visit you again. But I guess I should take my leave now."

 Yuu felt extremely uncomfortable and he didn't like the way Akira was looking at him now, not at all.

 "Um, you can..."

 He turned to Kouyou, using his eyes to send a plea the blond's way. "Could you...?" He briefly looked at his daughter before nodding towards the hallway. Of course Kouyou wanted to oppose, he seemed to have switched into protector mode, but Yuu silenced him with an almost-glare and a single, hissed word.

 "Please."

 Kouyou tsked, his stare throwing daggers at Akira before he finally turned and headed back inside with Natsuko. The little girl waved at their guest and it made Yuu smile but broke his heart just as much.

 Yuu waited for them to disappear behind the corner before he was facing Akira again. The other's hardened expression hadn't changed. Of course, now that his previous lie had been exposed, Yuu didn't expect it to.

 "You can come in though, i-if you want," he began stuttering. "I-I mean, Kouyou was-, " he cleared his throat, "Kouyou was just about to leave anyway."

 Akira shook his head slowly, his tight jaw was so locked up that he just couldn't give any verbal answer. Though, the way he turned around and left the door in the following moments told Yuu enough.

 When Akira seated himself in the driver's seat of his car, he didn't start the engine. All he did was staring straight through the windshield, as he focused on his constricted breathing, trying to calm it down.

 Fuck, he felt so hurt and disappointed more than ever. Any hope he had been developing recently just shriveled to death. Well, hope for what?

 Yes, yes, very funny.

  He suddenly felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, taking it out without sparing it a look, but could tell it was Yutaka who was probably the one on the other end. He carelessly tossed the device to the passenger's seat, gunned the engine and drove out of the parking lot without wasting his time.

*

"I'm going home," Kouyou said and just as he gathered his belongings, Natsuko came running over and hugged him around the waist.

 "Drive safely, ne!" She grinned, and Kouyou gave her a thumbs-up before he finally made his towards the front door, where Yuu was still staring at nothing in particular.

 "See you tomorrow," he said, voice distant and cold.

 Yuu shook his head at the blond but couldn't stop him from stepping out of the apartment.

 "Kouyou... I swear, I didn't know he was going to show up," he said quickly, scared of how hurt Kouyou seemed. "I didn't mean to-"

 But Kouyou beat him to it.

 "I know," he lifted a hand, "It's not your fault, Yuu. But you know how I feel about you and now that he's back..."

 He didn't finish, and didn't even have to.

 Yuu exhaled slowly and nodded. They hugged briefly before Kouyou made his way to the elevator.

 "Is Kouyou-chan angry, mom?"

 Yuu's eyes flickered down once Natsuko tugged at his bathrobe. He forced himself to smile as he crouched down in front of his daughter.

 "No no, not at all, sweetie. He just cares about me and you, don't worry." 

Ruffling her raven hair, Yuu arose and patted her back to shoo her towards her bedroom. "Now hop to bed, will you."


	6. Getting used to

"Lunch time, wanna join me?" Kouyou asked as he knocked his knuckles against Yuu's desk to reak the other's trance and gain his attention.

Yuu winced, tearing his gaze away from the customer bill he'd been focused on. "Wh-What? Oh, yeah," he laughed and nodded. "Yeah, sure."

Only two days had passed but nonetheless, Yuu was glad that Kouyou's cold behavior towards him had faded. Too bad that Yuu was going to make it even worse.

"Can we talk... about something?" he asked hesitatingly while they made their way to the elevator. "I think I made up my mind."

"About?" Kouyou bit his lip, suddenly feeling uneasy.

"Us."

Kouyou's eyes shot up, sparkling and Yuu quickly shook his head. No no no, not _that_ us.

"I-I mean, Akira and me," he corrected, watching Kouyou's expression faltering.

"Oh."

"Y-Yeah, I-" they stepped out of the elevator, "I think I'm going to tell him after all."

The blond swallowed before giving a cold reply.

"Why? Because he's Natsuko's real father?" Kouyou felt like his nerves were on fire, and he sped up, walking faster towards the exit of the building.

Yuu was baffled. Was Kouyou offended? He walked quicker to keep up with him.

"Kouyou! Why are you like this? I thought you always wanted me to come to you if I need to talk."

Once they had emerged on the street, Yuu turned around, walking backwards for a little before stopping and in the process forcing Kouyou to halt too.

"Are you mad at me?" he asked with furrowed eyebrows.

Kouyou let out a bitter chuckle and looked dead straight into Yuu's eyes.

"Mad? I am _beyond_ mad at you, Yuu. God, I'm just so fucking scared you'll go back to him after telling him about Natsuko. What if he hurts you? Why can't you choose me, someone who's been taking care of you and loving you for so many years? While he was only in love with you for a few months and burdened you with a child."

Yuu gaped, stumbling a step backwards. Beyond mad? Kouyou had every right to be, honestly, but...

"Burdened?" he repeated with a shocked expression, swallowing down his anger.

"You think she's a burden to me? Do you think you'd be that much of a better father when you think of her as a _burden_?"

Yuu's countenance had switched from shock to something almost, _almost_ , similar to disgust.

He scoffed before turning around and leaving Kouyou standing where he was. This was enough, it was too much.

And Kouyou was calling after him, but Yuu no longer paid any attention to him. Not anymore.

***

Another week passed and with every day, Yuu's determination grew.

It was on a Friday morning, while Natsuko was at school, that he met up with Yutaka once more to let him know about his final decision.

Because the truth was, something was still there. Yuu had felt it the second he'd seen Akira again after all these years. Akira's eyes had had a spark to them and something was waking up inside Yuu. Something he'd never really let go of.

And just by seeing the knowing smile on Yutaka's lips once he entered the little café they frequented, Yuu knew he could no longer deny anything.

"Got you coffee as usual." Yutaka straightened himself up when Yuu approached. "You've been okay so far?"

"Thank you," Yuu smiled brightly, instantly feeling his mood lighting up. "Yeah, I've been fine. Kouyou's offended but..."

He shrugged before taking a sip from the coffee. "He's overreacting. I think."

Yutaka nodded and folded his arms over his chest. "He will just have to get his shit together someday. Now don't keep me waiting, tell me what's up."

Yuu cleared his throat. "Sooo... I've been thinking. And I think that I... I... am going to tell him. Tonight."

He nodded, as if to assure himself of what he was doing. "I just need his phone number," he continued, giving Yutaka a broad, pretty ambiguous grin.

Yutaka grinned in return and leaned back. "You think he'd want to see you though?" he chuckled, taking out his phone but didn't do any further action with it. "He's still bitter about...well, pretty much everything about you."

Yuu pouted, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

"I know but... If I ask him, he might...?" Ugh, where was this conversation heading? "You don't think he's going to believe me?"

"If you're just going to tell him straight in the face, of course he ain't gonna believe you." Yutaka gave a fake, sad face and turned his phone to show Yuu the displayed phone number that belonged to Akira.

"Here's my advice: Be prepared with a... pleading, broken and whiny voice before you talk to him. I'm sure he'll melt right away when you do. Also," he tilted the device to the side a bit. "I'm sure you keep some documentation about him being the father anyway, don't forget to show him that."

Yuu's fingers were trembling just the slightest as he fished his phone out of his pocket to save Akira's number to his contacts. "Broken and whiny?" he queried, "You want me to put a mask on to get him to listen?"

Yutaka sighed exasperatedly. "No, just in case he decides to dismiss you the second he hears your voice, silly. You just need to do something to anchor him on the line." A smirk suddenly tugged at his playful lips. "Why don't you use that famous pet name of his? Just in case. I mean, that's always been your ace a long time ago."

Yuu looked up. _'Famous pet na-_

"You mean-?"

His eyes brightened instantly. "That is actually a great idea!"

It really was! Akira was probably going to push him away when he called but... Hearing Yuu say _that_ name was certainly going to strike a nerve in him, right?

He finished saving the number and tucked his phone back into his pocket, taking another sip from his drink.

"And I... I think I have the birth certificate with his name on it."

Yutaka blinked. He'd honestly thought of using the pet name as a _joke_. What if Akira got more irritated and just ended the call that instantly upon hearing that? It was a fifty-fifty chance.

But Yuu was the one who was going to use it so he just hoped for the best. Yutaka couldn't imagine if he himself said it... Akira would very likely just smack him in the face. Or worse than that.

He nodded slightly. "I, uh, okay. Good. Great. I mean, good luck, Yuu." He smiled softly this time and gave a thumbs-up.

"Do you think I should do it right now?" Yuu asked hurriedly, all of a sudden feeling overly excited. Was this... hope?

"Or no, it'd be better to do it later on, during lunch break maybe. No, tonight's better. I'll give-"

He halted, a thought crossing his mind that he hadn't been aware of so intensely before. Licking his lips, they curled into another one of his sugar-sweet grins.

"Could you maybe... take Natsuko?"

One of Yutaka's eyebrows quickly arched and he grinned as well, nodding as he was very well aware of what Yuu was hinting at here.

"Sure. But for one hour of babysitting her I'll charge five hundred yen. Deal? Deal," then he chuckled, "Kidding, just text me when to pick her up, I'll be there."

***

"I've made sure my analysis is thorough and dead-on by looking at certain areas where we can surely reduce costs as well as employee perks without having to reduce the benefits. There's honestly a lot that is completely unnecessary which we've overlooked such as the expenditures and by focusing on those areas, we can figure out ways to eliminate the need to cut some positions. Although there are those that could easily be absorbed into other jobs."

Akira looked from one side to another, waiting for any opposing opinions from the other directors, but there were none. He bowed his head slightly as a dismissive gesture to end the meeting.

"Thank you. Let's make it work."

He left the conference room five minutes later than the others, busying himself with reading his own proposal over and over again just to make sure he hadn't made any mistakes. He was glad that the meeting had gone smoothly, or else it would've dragged on to take up most of his lunch break.

Akira headed for his office first which was situated in the executive department, past the glass walls that fronted it and just as he entered through the door, his phone vibrated with an incoming call.

Akira pressed the button on his earpiece, sat behind his custom desk and said, "Suzuki."

Yuu winced at the sound of his voice.

He'd been gnawing on his nails, walking back and forth in front of his couch ever since Yutaka had picked Natsuko up and now that it was on him to talk, he felt as if his vocal chords had shrunken.

"U-Um, hi," he breathed out. "It's Yuu. Uh, Yutaka gave me your... number."

Swallowing, he endured the silence that followed.

"I see." Yutaka was definitely going to get his skull split open after this, "I'm sorry, I'm very busy at the moment."

It wasn't an appropriate lie considering he was on lunch break, but Akira couldn't care less. His finger hovered over the button to terminate the call. "And don't call me anymore, Shiroyama."

Yuu's eyes widened and he burst out with the first thing coming to his mind.

"No wait, Rei-!"

He stopped, as if in shock that he'd really said it. He took a deep breath. He hoped that this was indeed his ace.

"Rei-chan...? Please, there is... something important I need to tell you," he tried to sound pleading, chewing on his lip.

Rei- _what_ -chan?

_What?_

Akira spent a long time staring over his desk, eyes frozen and wide as his mind processed the shocking word over and over again. It felt unreal. But Yuu had really used it on him, and Akira was having a hard time to convince himself that this was reality, and not one of the products of his imagination.

"You..." he released a faint, wavering breath and nearly slumped against his seat. It was a good thing he wasn't standing or walking, or else he'd have collapsed straight away. This particular pet name had always gotten him weak in the knees. And Lord have mercy on Akira, Yuu's voice wasn't helping him either.

Eventually, he rubbed a hand over his face and sighed heavily. This was _not_ fair at all. Using that little thing against him, and destroying all barriers he'd built around himself over the past week.

"Okay, " he said quietly when he was finally able to get himself together. "How important is this _something_?"

A thousand stones fell from Yuu's heart, that was how relieved he felt.

It worked, just like Yutaka had predicted.

Loosening the almost cramped hold he had on his phone, he replied.

"I... Really important."

He sniffed.

"Do you still... want to know why I broke up with you?"

That made Akira frown, his voice gaining back the edge when he spoke next. "I thought it was obvious enough? You found someone else just like I thought long ago when you said you wanted to break up."

Yuu frowned. 'Found someone else'? Akira thought that...?

"What?" he asked in confusion. "No, I didn't. - Look, I thought maybe you... want to come over, tonight. So, we can... talk, and Natsuko's not here either so..."

This was so nerve-wracking! Plonking himself down on the couch, Yuu waited anxiously for Akira's response.

The blond businessman pinched the bridge of his nose and thought it through. To be honest, he wanted to question Yuu more, about the innocent girl who had openly admitted Yuu was her mother, and about the other guy whose name he didn't know and who he had assumed was Yuu's lover who, in turn, seemed like he had some kind of problem with Akira although he had nothing to do with him at all.

"Make sure it's really going to be worth my time, Yuu. Or else..." He trailed off and threw his conflicted gaze out at the city view through his windows, sighing slightly.

"Okay, I'll be there."

A smile tugged at Yuu's lips. "Okay. How about... um, 8? I don't know when you'll be off work but...? I'll prepare something to eat, too."

Hell, Yuu was afraid of already sounding too enthusiastic.

"8 sounds fine. Actually, I'll be off work earlier than that, but I'd like to go home and shower first." Akira couldn't believe it. The tense was fading. And now, they were talking to one another _almost_ casually.

This should _not_ be happening. It all felt too ridiculous to Akira.

"Anything else?"

Yuu shook his head, even though there was nobody to see it. "N-No, nothing," he answered, "Um... Okay, see you then?"

They said goodbye and Yuu released a fitful breath once he'd hung up the phone. He felt relieved but incredibly nervous at the same time. Fine so now he had to... shower, and prepare dinner, and get the birth certificate and come up with a plan on how exactly he was going to reveal this lie he'd kept up for the past 10 years.

Before stepping into the shower, he sent a message to Yutaka.

Yuu (Fri, 1:43 PM)

_I AM GOING TO DIE_

Yutaka (Fri, 1:43 PM)

_What, right now? Does that mean I need to find the documents to prove that me and Taka are qualified to adopt Natsuko?_

Yutaka (Fri, 1:44 PM)

_Just kidding_ _;)_ _Hey, how did it go? Don't make me worried. (lol)_

Yuu laughed aloud at the messages once he read them after exiting the shower. He only replied after wrapping himself and his hair up in a towel.

Yuu (Fri, 1:56 PM)

_It hasn't even started yet ;; He's coming over at 8. I have no idea what to say. Or what to cook. H E L P_

Yutaka (Fri, 1:58 PM)

_Alright, take a deep breath and breathe out slowly. Do it a few times. Man, you sound like some nervous teenager who's going to have his first date. (lol)_

Yutaka (Fri, 2:01 PM)

_Sorry, that wasn't helpful, forget what I said. You know what to say to him, Yuu. You do. And Google is your friend. There's still time to prepare everything so don't panic._

Yutaka (Fri, 2:03 PM)

_Akira won't bite you no matter what anyway. (lol) Good luck Yuu!_

Sitting on the edge of his bed now, Yuu sighed upon reading his friend's texts.

Yuu (Fri, 2:06 PM)

_Alright alright, I'll manage._

It was like a promise to himself, and he planned on keeping it. It took him an embarrassing 30 minutes to figure out what the hell to wear but he ultimately decided on just plain black sweatpants and a comfortable hoodie on top.

And for the meal he'd had in mind, it turned out he lacked ingredients. So even though he wanted to show Akira that he'd made some effort, he had to go for rice and a fish-vegetable mix.

It was nearing 8 o'clock and he was almost done. He'd switched on the radio in the kitchen, placed the certificate, that he was definitely going to need, in a drawer beneath the TV and set the table (no candles though) but not even the uplifting music could chase away his nervousness.  
  


It felt a bit weird heading to Yuu's place without bringing anything as a gift to Natsuko, since it was what Akira had done for his previous visits. But Yuu had said she wouldn't be there anyway...well, maybe next time.

Akira drew in a long, deep breath after he stopped in front of Yuu's apartment door. Was he doing this for real? He really hoped it wasn't a waste of his time. But curiosity got the better of him concerning the _real_ reason why Yuu had left him. So, liked it or not, at least he would no longer be left in confusion and frustration by the end of the day.

Lifting his hand, he dropped his gaze down to the slim fit, red plaid shirt he was wearing. It had long sleeves, but he'd rolled them up to his elbows, revealing his slightly tanned arms that he'd been hiding underneath his working attire. For the bottom garments, he only had a pair of black, straight-cut jeans—

Okay, _shit_. He really felt like he'd went back to the night where Yuu had come over to study with him. Checking out his appearance, feeling unsure about it and wondering if younger Yuu would be impressed or not... but in the end, it hadn't mattered. _Now_ didn't either.

He rang the doorbell and waited for the door to open, unconsciously fixing his brown hair a bit with a few shoves of his hand.

Yuu shrieked, that was how hard the sound of the doorbell frightened him. Putting the cooking spoon down, he wiped his hands with a kitchen towel before heading for the front door.

It was ridiculous but he did check his makeup and hair in the mirror hanging next to the coat rack. He unlocked and opened the door, then saw Akira—

Akira, who was _stunning_ , nothing less than what Yuu had expected and it instantly banned a smile on the raven's lips.

"Hi," he cooed and stepped aside to grant him entrance, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "Thanks for coming, I know you didn't really... want to."

Akira's mood instantly _dropped_ at that, and he knew he wanted this whole meet up with Yuu to be as brief as possible. However, when he smelled the spices and herbs in the air, and looked at Yuu's slightly nervous face again, he knew he couldn't just put the other's effort to waste, could he?

And that he should appreciate it.

Therefore, instead of not going to say a word, he went for the other option, but his gaze was averted still. "I agreed to come here anyway." He stepped inside and toed his shoes off.

Yuu gulped. _Fuck_. So, being all smiles wasn't going to work, huh?

He sighed softly as he shut the door.

"I made rice. A-and fish," he stuttered while leading Akira to the dining table in the kitchen.

It was terrible how cold the air between them felt and how Yuu didn't know if he could even dare to look into the other's face.

Instead, he stepped up to the fridge, opening it.

"Wine?"

Akira frowned - just the slightest bit- but because he didn't want to risk causing any awkwardness, he nodded, placing a hand on the table to drum his fingertips against the surface slowly.

"Sure, would love some."

Yuu took out the bottle, pouring the white liquid into Akira's glass. Their eyes met briefly and Yuu felt almost as if he was back in their high-school days, the way his cheeks seemed to heat up.

After a short exchange of way too forced seeming smiles, Yuu fetched their bowls and chopsticks, filled them and sat down opposite him. "I hope you like it."

Akira smiled slightly and took the chopsticks. "I do. Homemade food is always the best. And today marks my first time eating yours, actually." He pressed his palms together and said the little prayer.

"Oh, right, I hadn't thought of that."

Yuu smiled to himself, repeating the gesture before they fell into silenced eating. It almost had some kind of... domestic feeling to it.

_Now if Natsuko were here..._

"It's good," Akira commented after taking some mouthful bites. "Back then we both mostly had snacks together, right? So I never got the chance to taste your cooking." Unless teenager Yuu had really had no skills to cook a decent meal, but Akira doubted that.

"Mm, I'm glad!" Yuu smiled happily. He did put some effort into that meal after all, although it was quite a simple one. "I didn't really... cook back then, did I?"

Akira shook his head.

Yuu sipped from his wine.

They continued having the meal silently.

Were things going good so far? Yuu had no idea. But Akira wasn't bombarding him with questions just yet so... That was a good thing.

Turned out Akira still wanted to chat a bit. "You didn't. We had chips, chocolates, tidbits... what else? Oh. Sometimes we ordered too. Younger us with all those kinds of fast foods."

He chuckled, smiling a little and looked up at Yuu. This Yuu was a lot different than teenager Yuu, and the latter had always come up with _remarks_ , had always been bold and yes, crazy. In a good way, loveable as well.

Eventually, they were able to finish eating, Akira was now downing the final drop of wine in his glass before he pulled away when it was empty.

"Thanks a lot for this meal and the wine."

Yuu had done the same so he could dump all of their dishes in the dishwasher. "No problem," he replied mandatorily, before turning back to face Akira.

"Why don't we go to the living room, it's... warmer there."

The moment of truth was there, right now, he realized once he came to a stop and stood next to the couch. Yuu felt his hands quivering and his throat getting dry. God damn, he hadn't wanted to be _this_ much of a bundle of nervousness.

Akira had settled on the other couch and his eyes were fixed on Yuu, attentively, expectantly.

"S-So, um...," Yuu began, "It's about Natsuko."

Akira tilted his head to the side slightly and nodded, looking down at his crossed fingers. "She's your daughter. Not your niece." He bit the inside of his cheek. "You lied to me about that."

Yuu nodded slowly, chewing on his bottom lip. "Yes, I...-" He dropped his head. "I did. I was afraid you were going to jump to conclusions too quickly."

Akira let out a long sigh, rubbing a hand over his face. " _Why_ are we talking about this? I thought you wanted to tell me the reason of the break up? Your daughter has got nothing to do with it so _cut the crap_ and just tell me, Yuu." Damn, he was growing impatient and that was it, he was definitely leaving right after this.

_Fuck fuck fuck._

Yuu was taken aback by the harshness of Akira's words but he couldn't really blame him either, could he?

Yuu walked around the couch and sat down on it, knowing that his face was clearly showing how... uneasy he felt.

"That's... She-"

And the look of impatience Akira was giving him didn't exactly make it easier.

"She is the reason," he eventually pressed out, looking up to gauge the brunet's reaction. "I knew that I was-"

And suddenly his eyes began burning like fire, tears pricking at them and making his voice sound breathy.

"I broke up with you because I was pregnant, Akira. And Natsuko, she's..."

Was he getting it? Yuu couldn't bring himself to say it but did Akira understand that Natsuko was the same age as the amount of years they hadn't seen each other?

Akira stared at Yuu, feeling a permanent frown etched between his eyebrows. So Yuu had been pregnant when Akira had been studying abroad? He hadn't expected that. It must have been beyond shocking for the raven, bearing a child and raising her up until now...

Whose doing was it then? He was extremely convinced Yuu had cheated on him, but knowing younger Yuu, if he hadn't...

"Wait, she's...?"

He caught himself when a sudden thought crossed his mind, and he wasn't sure if he liked it or not... but _Oh God_.

He wasn't going to believe himself, but he was still going to say it since Yuu wasn't able to continue what he was supposed to tell him.

"I... Are you trying to tell me... that I'm her real... _father?"_

Did that even make sense?

_"Yuu?"_

His voice became quiet when he noticed the emotional turmoil the other was evidently going through.

Then the doubt came. Akira rubbed his temple. What if it was another lie? Damn, this was frustrating the hell out of him.

With his face buried in his hands, Yuu started sobbing.

"I never meant for this to happen, Akira," he cried, his shoulders shaking, "I was so overwhelmed and I-I couldn't bring myself to tell you over the phone."

He sniffed, angrily wiping his tears away with his palm. "It would've distracted you from your studies and y-your parents would have been so disappointed in you a-and..."

When their eyes met and Yuu saw the shock of this revelation spreading across Akira's face, he shook his head, more tears falling as he pressed the heel of his hand to his forehead.

"I'm so sorry."

The other could only stare at him, between breathing heavily and forgetting to breathe. His mind was trying so hard to find flaws in Yuu's confession, flaws that could prove the doubt that had arisen in his head, but he found none.

Masked tone, facial expression—?

_None._

Was this for real? He had a daughter with Yuu? Ten years... and he'd just learned that he was a father, after all this time?

Akira swallowed the thick lump down his throat, aching to just leave the couch, cross over the living room and close the distance between him and Yuu.

And his unbearable urge made him do all of that.

"Yuu... Hey, hey... it's..."

He kneeled in front of Yuu, hesitantly wrapping his arms around the shaking frame and pulled the raven-head into his comforting embrace.

"I-I think it's okay, Yuu. It's okay... it's okay."

He took one of the other's hands, surprised at how cold it was and held it tightly, planting a warm kiss down on the soft skin.

"It must've been difficult for you, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that," he said with a soft voice, rubbing Yuu's back and searching for his face. "Without me," he continued, slowing down the rubbing motion of his hand and moving it to cup Yuu's tear streaked cheek, caressing it lightly.

"I'm having a hard time believing I'm a father... after all this time, that _we_ have a child together, but when I think about Natsuko, there's actually the resemblance I can see on her..." he said quietly, hoping it could sooth the other in a way. God, he really hated seeing Yuu cry. It was his fault again, wasn't it?

Yuu couldn't stand the way Akira was looking at him _and_ touching him. All the suspicion and the mistrust from earlier on was gone, this was almost as if teenager-Akira was looking at him.

He turned his head away, away from that comforting palm and the thumb that wiped off the tears. "I-I can prove it, I have the... the, um, certificate," he stammered and got up. His hands were shaking as he opened the drawer beneath the TV and retrieved the document.

Akira's expression spoke of curiosity and he extended a hand, a loving smile settling on his lips for the first time tonight. Yuu handed the document to him but couldn't stop his legs from giving in. He tumbled to the floor.

"I didn't know wh-when you were coming back from the States o-or if at a-all and I... I couldn't put her through this, through n-not knowing if she was going to see her father again s-so I had to..."

His voice broke and his cheeks and neck felt hot with the heat rising in his blood.

Akira silently read over the certificate, and paused when he found his name right at the bottom of the page, eyes gradually softening when he saw Yuu's name next. Taking his gaze off and sliding it down at Yuu, he slowly lowered himself to the floor and, after placing the certificate on the table, embraced the raven-head again, but this time it was natural, to his will, and with a wave of tenderness he could no longer deny he felt for him.

"Yuu, at such a young age, you gave birth to a wonderful little girl and have been raising her so well until now," Akira slid his arms lower and encircled them around Yuu's waist, making sure the other's face buried in his shoulder. His mouth hovered just above Yuu's ear when he whispered.

"I'm proud of you, Yuu. Really, so proud."

Yuu's heart was racing as Akira wrapped his arms around him, his closeness sent goosebumps down his back and his words brought even more tears to his eyes.

"I wanted to tell you, Akira," he muttered softly against the other's shoulder, closing his eyes with a shaky breath. "Yutaka urged me to call you so many times but I was... I was just so afraid you'd push me away and that... that i-it'd ruin your career."

He sniffed as he pulled back.

Wow, the way they were both sitting on the floor and him a crying mess, they really did look like a small picture of misery.

Akira wiped away the damp tears from Yuu's cheeks with both hands. If ten years ago Yuu had allowed him to see his face through video Skype, it would've looked just like it did now; overwhelmed with emotions, nose and eyes slightly swollen with redness...

"My parents were a huge pain the ass too," Yuu muttered, as if trying to lighten the mood between them by telling a joke no one ever really laughed at. But it seemed Akira didn't mind.

"Are you feeling better now?" He asked softly after he'd helped Yuu to his feet, gently holding him by the arms. Yuu looked so vulnerable Akira felt like he needed to protect him and shield him from anything bad that could hurt him.

Yuu hadn't even noticed that one of his hands had automatically settled on Akira's chest to keep himself balanced on his feet. He nodded lightly in response and even managed a smile, though it was weak.

"Thanks," he breathed out, sniffing. "I didn't mean to... be miserable like this, I'm sorry."

What was going to happen now? Was Akira accepting it, his daughter? They had to come up with some kind of... plan, right?

Akira couldn't say anything, wasn't thinking about what to say when all his mind was now focusing on was Yuu's hand pressing up against his chest. It sparked something _familiar_ within Akira, and it was waking up, and coursing through his veins instantly. He slowly lifted his gaze and looked at Yuu, wondering if he was experiencing the _same thing_. And—

And in that moment, silence was all Akira needed to break.

"Yuu," Akira called, his voice faint but enough to grab Yuu's attention. Even more so when he placed his calloused hands to cup the raven's cheeks and their lips were separated by just one or two dangerous inches, letting Yuu see and feel Akira only. But they were not standing on the same spot anymore, as Akira slowly guided Yuu to move backwards along the hallway, in the direction of a bedroom he assumed and mostly convinced was the other's.

"Can I kiss you?"

Yuu gasped when he was forced to stumble backwards, and his still watery eyes met Akira's that were full with affection and determination.

Had he really just... ?

There were hands on his cheeks and hot breath fanning out across his lips and- _fuck._

"Just one," Akira added softly, as if to reassure him that he wasn't going to go any further.

Yuu turned his head, looking at the door to their right and just that glance made Akira stop in his tracks, knowing that that was the door he'd been heading for.

And Yuu nodded. He nodded, just because he really, really, really, wanted it. And because it felt right, all of a sudden.

Akira leaned in, covering Yuu's soft lips with a breath-stealing kiss, and he realized how he'd missed kissing Yuu all this time. It was so heartbreakingly addictive. Had always been before just as Akira remembered.

Dipping his head, Akira parted his lips, rubbing them against Yuu's slowly but firmly, exploring and tasting the lingering taste of wine inside the warm cavern with his tongue.

It was only one kiss, but Akira wasn't about to stop anytime soon.

Keeping up with the heated kiss, he clamped his hands around Yuu's hips harshly, easily lifting him up with his strong arms and groaned when in the middle of fixing Yuu's thighs to bracket his waist, he accidentally tipped his head back a little, breaking the kiss by mistake. Fuck, _what_ —? He wanted to kiss Yuu again. Again and again.

Biting his lip and tasting the lingering sensation of _Yuu_ , he locked his possessive and frustrated gaze with Yuu's teary one, watching as his shoulder-length hair fell like soft midnight curtains to frame his flushed face. _So beautiful._ Yuu truly was. But to Akira's dismay when he was about to get another kiss from those tempting lips, he was abruptly stopped by no other than Yuu himself.

"Just one," Yuu gasped out to remind him once the hurried movements of lifting and being lifted were stopped. He was panting and his lips felt as if they were on fire.

It had been years since he'd last kissed someone.

Not that he hadn't had _any_ encounters with men but the last one had been three years ago and this... this...

This felt like their last kiss had just been yesterday, as though it was the most normal thing in the world and _God_ , he'd missed it.

With his chest rising and falling slightly faster than before, Yuu stared down at how he was clinging to Akira's shoulders and into his dark brown eyes.

Damn.

"Just one more."

Akira didn't waste his time and took the opportunity; kissing Yuu once again, harder and rougher this time, and feeling trembling fingers plunge into his scalp, gripping his brown hair tightly.

When his legs hit against the edge of the bed, Akira let his weight fall on Yuu's body. They collapsed onto the mattress, both feeling the rapid pounding of each of their hearts as their heaving chests pressed up against each other. They still weren't breaking the kiss.

 _Yuu's scent._ Akira breathed it all in deeply.

 _Yuu's body_. He let his hands roam over all the parts he could reach, feeling him wherever he touched.

 _Yuu's beating pulse._ He gently bit into the flesh of the raven's throat under his jaw.

And _everything_ , everything about Yuu was driving Akira crazy. Crazier and crazier as seconds passed.

Yuu's eyes were closed firmly and the back of his head was pushing into the pillow, his fingers yanking at dark hair. He moaned breathily, lips ravishing his neck and palms keeping his thighs in place.

"Hn- _fuck_ -," he was panting, the teeth nibbling and sucking at his throat making his mind go dizzy.

Was it going too fast? Wasn't it going too fast?

Yuu gulped hard, trying as much as he could to lift his arm and press his hand to Akira's chest. Fuck, they were about to lose themselves but he couldn't-

"S-Stop, A-Aki- nngh..."

But it felt so good! The way the other's fingers traced the side of his thighs, how his breath fanned out over the bruised patches of skin...

"Akira, s-stop!"

Akira didn't, not for the first few moments. Growling, he lowered his head down, determined to make Yuu take back his words. But when he suddenly pushed the hem of the other's hoodie up to his chest, his breath got caught in his throat.

It grew silent, as he stared down at the sight of Yuu's flat stomach, hearing his panting breaths slowing down. He leaned down and dropped gentle kisses along the faint, vertical incision scar before he lifted his head, moving to lay down and completely envelope Yuu in his arms.

"I'm sorry," he planted a kiss on the top of Yuu's head, lingering his lips there for several precious seconds. "I got carried away..."

Yuu blinked his eyes open once Akira had rolled them around and hugged him against his chest but he closed them again quickly.

It felt good, being hugged, being held, by someone Yuu knew had never given up on him, even after ten years.

"I-It's okay," he murmured and sniffed, "I just didn't want us to... go too far."

Akira released a shuddering breath, stirring a few black strands. "I understand... We'll take things slow then."

He pulled his lip between his teeth and bit into it slightly. "I-I mean, I want you, Yuu. I want to have you back. Officially." He tightened his arms around the warm body and swallowed hard.

"Can I?"

Yuu inhaled just as shakily, pressing his forehead against Akira's chest and it felt as if his heartbeat was pulsing through Yuu's entire body, electrifying.

"I... I'm not sure," he admitted, although reluctantly, "I mean, there are... so many things that we have to... take care of and I..."

He had no idea what he was actually wanting to say. Was he really thinking about Kouyou right now?

"You mean about Natsuko?" Akira pulled back a little so he could look Yuu straight in the eye, placing his fingers under his chin to tilt his head slightly. "Yuu, we need to let her know."

"I know," Yuu almost exclaimed, tilting his head and gaze away. "I know that and she already loves you anyway just because of those two gifts you brought her, but..."

Fuck, he just couldn't bring Kouyou up now. Why was he so worried anyway? Yuu knew that Akira loved him and would probably (despite his jealousy) understand that Yuu didn't want to hurt his friend but on the other hand, Kouyou was just that. Only a friend. And this matter was family, it was more important.

Yet, Yuu couldn't even bring himself to look at Akira properly.

Akira frowned slightly, pushing his fingers beneath Yuu's chin to force him to look back into his dark eyes.

"What are you thinking right now?" He touched their foreheads together, stroking his thumb down Yuu's cheek as he couldn't help but kiss Yuu briefly on his lips.

"What's on your mind? _Who_ is on your mind?"

But he didn't think he wanted to know at all, afraid what the answer might be. Afraid he himself wouldn't like it.

There were tears pricking at Yuu's eyes again. Was he being so ridiculously obvious?

"You thought she was Kouyou's, didn't you?" he whispered, Akira's touch and his fingertips still lingering on his lips and cheek. "When you saw us, you thought that we..."

Yuu gulped, closing his eyes with a soft exhale.

He didn't want to say it, knew it was going to do more than just hurt the both of them but now that they had found each other and there was an actual slight chance of building a future for themselves, Yuu couldn't allow himself to lie anymore, could he?

"He loves me, Akira," he admitted eventually.

_Enough._

Akira had had enough.

It took every will power inside him _not_ to let his dark expression show on his face, _not_ to turn away and curse Kouyou to hell. And what was making him feel even more frustrated was that he wanted nothing more than to do all of that, yet he remained holding Yuu close to him.

And then suddenly he leaned in to press his lips hard against Yuu's, surprising him for the second time of the night.

He didn't let Yuu break the kiss and when he fisted Yuu's hips, lifted them and shifted both of their positions so the raven was on top of him, trembling legs were straddling his waist.

"Kouyou _this_ , Kouyou _that_ ," Akira chastised as he narrowed his eyes up into Yuu's, his blunt calloused fingers slipping under the thick clothing to send goosebumps crawling underneath each of his touches. "I don't want to fucking _hear_ about him anymore. Understand?" His voice faltered a bit when he creased his eyebrows. "Natsuko is a lot more important... our family is our priority."

Yuu gasped, even screeched a little in surprise at being rolled over, and he placed his hands on either side of Akira's shoulders in order to catch himself.

Fuck, he was angry now, wasn't he? The aggressive grip he had on his waist and the way his fingertips treated his skin with less care was a clear indicator and it made Yuu bite down on his bottom lip.

Akira's eyes sparkled possessively and his words sent a shiver down his spine.

_Our family?_

"I-I'm sorry," Yuu muttered, trying his hardest to ignore the position they were in and the effects it had on him. And on Akira too, obviously, with how his chest was rising and falling just a little heavier.

"I won't mention it again. And you're right."

He nodded with a smile, was tempted to lean down for a kiss but he wasn't sure enough. "Our family comes first now."

"Good." Akira gentled his fingers, moving his hand up to cup the back of Yuu's head, then kissed him. "Since weekend starts tomorrow... how about we use the time to spend together? With Natsuko."

He inhaled deeply. "Let's tell her tomorrow."

...

**_"EEEHHH??!"_ **

_Tomorrow?!_

Yuu almost fell off the bed, that's how quickly he sat up from his leaning-down position. His eyes were wide in surprise and a dumbfounded grimace had settled on his face.

"T-Tomorrow?" he stuttered, "No way, I'm not ready!"

He crawled backwards until he was off Akira's lap and sitting on his legs instead. "I'm not ready to tell her already! I thought we could- I-I mean, I thought I was going to have a bit more time! Is it that urgent to you?"

_Yuu, what...? He just found out he has a daughter, of course it's **urgent**._

Scratching his head, Yuu realized how silly he was behaving and his cheeks turned pink with embarrassment. "I-I mean..."

He lowered his gaze with a sigh. This entire situation just made him feel a little... overwhelmed. He hadn't expected Akira to be _that_ eager on raising a family.

"I'm sorry," he murmured eventually, the frustration over not knowing how to handle this obvious in his voice. "I just thought..."

Letting it all sink in, _especially_ Yuu's reaction, Akira blinked a little, pushed himself into a sitting position and faced Yuu. Smiling, he let out a chuckle.

"I understand, but you don't have to be all flailing..." He reached out to hold Yuu's heated cheek with a hand, his touch gentle and the motion of his thumb caressing the skin was loving. "But I still want us to spend time together tomorrow." He leaned in and pecked Yuu's lips, before climbing out of the bed and fixing his shirt a little. "She needs to get used to my presence."

Yuu felt like a fucking teenager. Why was he reacting this way? Why were a simple smirk and a peck on the lips making him feel so giddy?

Akira was right, though.

"Okay," he agreed, shifting to sit cross-legged. But if they were talking about tomorrow now...

 _Fuck fuck fuck._ Yuu gulped.

"Does that- "

Akira lifted his head to look at him the second he started speaking and- Had his eyes always been that intense?? Yuu had no idea.

"Does that mean you're... going to stay the night?"

Surprised, Akira crossed those muscled arms and thought for a bit, before his mouth broke into a grin.

"Do you want me to?" He bent down, moving so close their noses were touching only fleetingly before he suddenly straightened back, shaking his head. "If I am, I don't think I'd be able to resist you. And I don't think _you_ would be able to resist me." 

He slid his serious gaze at Yuu, and if the raven could see it, there was a hungry and wild, _very wild_ , lust-filled intention burning and roaring deep within it and more than anything, ready to be unleashed.

But Akira saved it for _another_ time, and he was convinced it was going to happen.

Akira grabbed Yuu's hand, pulling him up and out of the bed, then into his arms. "Anyway, I'd like to be escorted to the front door, please."

He smiled slightly, seeing the expression on the other's face fall. Yuu sighed to himself silently as he watched Akira get ready. He kind of... did want him to stay but at the same time, all the alarm bells in his head starting ringing at the thought. They still wanted each other, no doubt, but it was happening too fast.

"Before I forget," Akira said, midway stepping out of the door. Though, he now seemed like he was having trouble trying to speak next, as if there was something clogging up in his throat. Well, it had been kind of bothering him for like half of the day.

"Calling me 'Rei-chan' is definitely _unfair_ of you, you know... it shows how sneaky you still are."

Yuu giggled at Akira's words, shrugging in response. "Yutaka brought it up to me, actually," he said while leaning against the doorframe with a small smirk playing on his lips. Fuck, he _really_ didn't want Akira to leave.

"And it worked, didn't it? Somehow I had to get you to come over and... here you are."

Without thinking much about it, he stepped forward and sneaked his arms around Akira's neck, hugging him close and hiding his face at his shoulder. Yuu didn't have to say anything at this point.

But Akira did.

"I love you," was the soft whisper in Yuu's ear, arms returning the tight hug with an equal amount of passion, "I really do."

Yuu, against his own expectations, didn't tense up at those words at all. If anything, he relaxed. Turning his head, he nestled his cheek to Akira's chest, not really caring whether anybody walking the corridors would be seeing them. "I don't think I've ever stopped loving you, Akira," he murmured thoughtfully. It felt a little strange, making such a meaningful confession in passing, but it was the truth.

Yuu pulled back, his gaze remaining lowered. "I don't want you to leave but you should," he said, a little more determined and with a chuckle he added, "Besides, I think Yutaka would freak the fuck out if he saw your car here tomorrow morning."

Akira smirked. "To be honest, that idea doesn't sound bad at all."

He withdrew his arms and took one step backwards, but before he finally left the apartment, he managed to steal one last kiss from Yuu's lips for the night.

He hadn't felt this kind of happiness for way too long.

***

Rubbing a speck of sauce off his cheek, Yuu laughed silently to himself. He was in a pretty good mood today and it was no doubt because Akira was coming over for lunch.

Yutaka had asked him quite a lot of things upon bringing Natsuko back home in the morning. Of course Yuu had to end up telling him every detail, from the distant atmosphere that had been there at the beginning to the kiss that had led them into bed. And Yutaka had been surprised, but only a little. He'd always believed in Akira and Yuu's relationship after all and-

"Mom!"

Yuu was pulled out of his thoughts when Natsuko came running into the kitchen and began yanking at his apron.

"Is Suzuki-san going to bring me a gift again?" she asked excitedly, her eyes sparkling.

Yuu chuckled. Wow, Akira had his daughter already wrapped around his finger, huh?

"Yes, I think so, Darling. Now go set the table, mm?"

*

The doorbell rang throughout the apartment. Natsuko left whatever little work she was doing at the table and, with a squeal, she happily ran towards the door and opened it.

Shock was the first thing that replaced the smile on her face when she saw the man before her. He - Akira - didn't say anything at first, waiting for her reaction, until Natsuko slowly turned to call for Yuu.

It appeared that she couldn't recognize that man was Akira. "Mom..." It was obvious her nearly inaudible voice held a scared tone, and instantly Akira pulled off the motorcycle helmet with a nervous laugh, tugging down the black bandana that was covering half of his face to reveal an equally nervous smile.

"No, don't- ! It's me."

He kneeled in front of her with an assuring smile, a hand soothing her shoulder and down the arm. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

He already had expected Natsuko to answer the door, which was why he had used the trick, but it hadn't worked out like he'd wanted it to...and like it usually did whenever he greeted his nephews (who screamed and sometimes tried to climb on him and pull the helmet off on their own). Well, girls were a lot different...

Good thing Natsuko's expression changed right away.

"Okay."

Akira almost breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't want to think what Yuu would have done if he had seen that just now...

"Mmm, I can smell delicious food from here. Can't wait to have lunch with you two," he said when he stepped inside, taking his boots off and surprising Natsuko as he placed the huge helmet on her head. She laughed as the weight made her sway slightly.

"Suzuki-san, this way! This way!"

She called excitedly when she went to the direction of the dining table, still wearing the helmet.

"Ah, Natsuko. Before I forget," He stopped her midway and unzipped the bag he'd brought along, holding out a box of Do-it-yourself jewelry to her, "For you."

He smiled when he heard her gasp. "There's a simple instruction book in there for you to create bracelets and necklaces. Since your dad works at a jewelry company, you can work together with him, and directly ask help."

"It looks so pretty..." She complimented the kit, lifting her head to look up at Akira, then bowed appreciatively. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," Akira smiled, waited for her to leave and head to her room to keep the gift away (so he could go to find Yuu and do a little bit of things with him), but to his helpless disappointment, that didn't happen. Natsuko remained standing at the same place and started reading the product details at the back of the box, until Yuu came over to shoo her away (after making her take that damn helmet off, of course).

With his arms crossed in front of his chest and an amused little smirk on his lips, Yuu watched Akira take the rest of his biking clothes off, the black leather jacket and the gloves that were of a similar material.

"Very resourceful," Yuu snickered, referring to the jewelry kit. "She's going to make you wear whatever she makes out of that, I hope you know that."

And Yuu just couldn't stop smiling. Why did this, the way Akira hung up his jacket, looked around to see if they were really alone, stepped up to him with a sneaky grin- why did it feel so... familiar?

"Nothing wrong with that."

Akira locked their lips with a pleasant hum, pulling away as he grinned and nuzzled down the length of Yuu's throat, tickling the sensitive skin there. "I wouldn't mind letting her do that."

"Mm- "

Yuu closed his eyes but had to open them again way too soon. Of course, Akira didn't want to risk anything such as having to explain their relationship to their daughter sooner than necessary. _But still giving neck kisses, huh?_

Yuu giggled.

He drew back just in time before Natsuko stepped out of her bedroom, looking happier than ever when her eyes landed upon Akira and walked up to both him and her father.

"Ne, Suzuki-san. The music box you gave me before..." She trailed off once she realized she sounded a bit shy, hiding a little behind her mother.

"Yes? Do you like it?" Akira prompted her with a smile and held out a hand, heading hand-in-hand to the table with her just moments later.

"Mhmm," she nodded, slowly at first, a brighter smile across her face. "I listen to it while doing homework! Also before sleeping right after mom turns out the lights. All of the music just sounds beautiful."

She balled both of her small fists close to her chest, humming the melody from what she could remember, and Akira enjoyed how expressive she was from what he could observe, feeling quite fascinated when he saw his resemblance properly on her face this time - she had his eyes and lips, while her beautiful hair definitely was Yuu's.

Yuu was watching them with a fond look. Maybe Natsuko even had a feeling already, who knew?

He placed his hand on Akira's upper arm briefly to get his attention.

"I'll get the food," he smiled and nodded towards the dining area in the living room. "Help her pick out chopsticks, I swear to God that's her every-day life decision."

And with a soft laugh he disappeared into the kitchen.

"Okay," Akira followed after Natsuko with an amused chuckle, then found himself staring down at colorful pairs of chopsticks the girl was holding in her small hands after retrieving them from a cabinet. She seemed a bit nervous though when she met Akira's curious eyes, speaking just above a whisper.

"Umh, Suzuki-san, I don't know your favorite color..."

Akira smiled and took a seat at the table, pointing at a pair of dark brown chopsticks. "The same as my hair color."

"Alright!" she squeaked. Akira snickered and continued watching her pick out chopsticks for herself and Yuu, the dining area full of life as they chatted a bit. Things truly went good so far, didn't they? Akira wondered how she would react when they finally told her, what proper answer to give if she asked where he had actually been and _why_.

Would she understand if they told her everything? For a girl her age, probably not entirely. But she would as she grew up. Akira prayed for that time to come.


	7. How to Parent?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait! Hope you enjoy :)

The park was a spectacular paradise. At least to its young visitors, and despite the cold weather that had hit the city today. But Akira understood the attraction that drew in the people around, even though he himself had never actually been there before. 

Fully equipped with a rolling pin slide, waterfall, rope slide, spider-web like trampolines and spring riders, the playground inside the area was all the more interesting and enjoyable for little ones (plus bonus for well-designed safety). Maybe he should consider coming here another time with his young nephews.

 He was currently sitting at one of the shaded seating areas, waiting for Yuu and Natsuko to arrive while bouncing his knee and staring at his phone. Despite having taken a week to prepare, he could still feel the nervousness that was shivering up his spine, mixing with the excitement that was surely going to win him over. 

 

"Mom, is he already going to be there?" 

She tugged at Yuu's hand. 

"Mom, am I getting a gift again?" 

"Mom, will he stay over for dinner?" 

"Mooooom!!"

 

Yuu winced, blinking himself out of his thoughts to look down at his daughter. She was looking at him with a cute pout. 

"You're not listening to me at all!" she complained. 

And it was true. Yuu sighed. He was so lost in thoughts about the things that were about to happen, he hadn't really paid attention to anything else. 

"I'm sorry, Darling," he smiled apologetically and stopped at the pedestrian lights. "I don't know, we'll have to see. Maybe he did bring something for you."

 "I hope so!"

 They crossed the street and made their remaining way to the adventure park. Yuu was getting even more nervous with every second and once they'd reached the entrance, he was glad Natsuko had let go of his hand. Because he was actually shaking, a little.

 "Where is he?" Natsuko looked around excitedly.

 "I don't know, let's- "

 "Aaah, over there!"

 Yuu watched in awe how his daughter jumped up and down, waving at Akira who was sitting on one of the benches nearby. "Suzuki-saaaaaan!"

 Akira had looked up upon hearing his name and his lips curled into a happy smile. 

"Mom, can I go??" 

Yuu smiled as they slowly began walking up to him but after he'd nodded in confirmation, Natsuko sped up and ran over to him. It was almost as if she'd already  taken a shine to Akira and the sight of how she extended her arms towards him, happy to see him again after just one week, made Yuu's heart palpitate with emotions.

 

"Hey," Akira smiled as he took Natsuko into his arms, embracing her small body lovingly. "How have you been?"

He pulled back, patting her gently on the head and trying to be careful with the matching pastel hair clips she was wearing, along with white coat. Mufflers the shade of a dark pink were wrapped around her neck and simple black pants and boots adorned her feet, making her look even cuter in his cold afternoon. 

"I've been good Suzuki-san!" She gave a quick nod, eyes searching briefly for a gift that Akira could've brought for her as she tilted her head to the side. But she didn't see anything the likes.

 Understanding that look very well, Akira shook his head slightly, yet the smile on his face stayed intact.

 "I didn't bring anythig as a gift today. But I'll take you and your dad as well- Oh, how are you by the way, Yuu?"

He received a silent playful glare from two narrowed eyes and chose to ignore that as he focused back on the ten-year-old girl. "Well, hmm, do you like cats? 'Cause I've been thinking we should head to a cat cafe after letting you play at the playground-"

He was cut off by Natsuko's loud gasp and a sudden screech of giggles, his daughter hugging him tightly around the neck as she bounced on her toes happily.

 "Yes, yes, yes! I do love them! I'd really love to go to one together!"

 "Okay, okay-" Akira laughed, feeling Natsuko's joy vibrating through him and he realized how much he actually cherished that. Perhaps she did too. 

After Yuu had given his permission and he finally let her go to join with with the other children at the playground, Akira took a deep breath, his folded arms resting atop the table.

 

"Kai did already warn me about the risk of spoiling her too much with gifts..." he mumbled under his breath, fingers drumming against the hard surface. Hopefully, Natsuko wouldn't ask for a kitten as a gift by the end of the day... But she had never asked for anything before, so that was a good thing. 

"Parenting is... more difficult than it seems. But it's something I have to learn and get used to, right?" 

Yuu had taken a seat next to him, watching Natsuko run away towards one of the huge swings. "One gets used to it after a while, I guess," he murmured thoughtfully in response before clearing his throat and turning to face Akira. "Anyway, hi." 

A small kiss on the cheek was all he could manage, engaging in PDA probably wasn't the best idea while being at a playground full of minors. Akira got the idea though and reached for Yuu's hand to squeeze it gently. It made him smile. 

"How have you been?" Yuu asked casually while his eyes briefly darted to his daughter. He was really used to it by now, checking up on her every few minutes whenever they came here. 

"I've been fine," Akira's grip tightened slightly before it slowly loosened as he released a long, wavering breath. "Nervous, too..." he managed a small smile, using the other hand to lean his chin on.

 "Do you think it's going to be alright? What would she think of me as the father who's been missing for so long and suddenly shows up at the door? I mean, she's been thinking I'm only your friend and well..." he scratched his head with a faint chuckle, "I think I'm just worried a little bit too much..."

Looking up at the raven, Akira bit his lip.

  
"How exactly are you going to tell her? Do I have to wait until then to know?"

Would what he himself was going to say be smooth?? What if he suddenly lost the ability to speak?? Should he require another week?? 

Yuu smiled at him, tentatively brushing his thumb over the back of Akira's hand. "You'll be okay," he said encouragingly. "I'm just as nervous as you, I..." 

He shrugged after looking over at his daughter once more. "I guess I'm just going to tell her. I can't really beat around the bush now, can I? Maybe she's been suspecting something anyway, who knows."

 His words didn't seem to be able to soothe Akira's nervousness but it was the least Yuu could do, right? Their eyes met once he raised his voice again.

 "I really want... this to work out, you and me," he murmured, his eyes fixed on the wooden surface of the table. His fingers though, remained interlaced with the other's.

 "I feel like things are going... fast but... on the other hand I don't feel like wasting time that we could spend together, you know."

 Akira smiled. "We're making up for the ten years that we've lost anyway." He waved at Natsuko when she called for their attention from where she stood at the mouth of the slide.

 Yuu hummed his agreement in response. "Yeah."

 He couldn't really prolong it any longer now, could he?

 After uttering a sigh and squeezing Akira's hand once more, Yuu raised his voice and called for his daughter. "Natsuko! Come here, Darling!"  
 

She pouted a little because Yuu was calling her away from the front position of the queue she was in but of course she obeyed after all.

 "Moooom, I wanted- !" 

"I know honey, but we need to have a little talk right now," Yuu scolded, albeit gently. Lifting her little body onto his lap, he threw a quick glance at Akira.

"What is it?" Natsuko asked, rubbing at her nose with a gloved hand.

 Yuu gulped. Fuck, this was going to be harder than expected. "So... I'm sure you've already noticed that... Suzuki-san and I have met a few times by now."

 Ugh, he wanted to sob. Natsuko looked absolutely oblivious and Yuu was scared of her reaction.

 "Yes, so? He won't stop visiting, will he??" She made a concerned face. "I want to get more gifts!"

 They laughed and Akira even shook his head before Yuu did. 

"No no, he won't stop visiting," Yuu assured, "In fact, he will... come over a lot more often in the future. You see, he's actually... someone who's very, very close to your mom. And yourself, too."

 Akira barely managed a nod when he saw the confused look cross Natsuko's face.

 "Like Kou-chan?" She looked up to her father.

 Akira almost shook his head but he managed to just open his mouth and clarify without sounding too... hostile, "Let's just say I'm a few steps ahead of him."

Damn, how to make things make sense and sound simple to a ten-year-old child? He breathed in deeply, searching for a bit of strength, and firmly held Yuu's hand.

 

"Well you know, in this world, when you have a mo- “

He got stuck because damn, it wasn’t like explaining this in general wasn’t already difficult enough, but adding the fact that this was about a homosexual relationship that had to be explained to Natsuko made it all the more complicated.

“I mean, when you have a dad, like Yuu, you surely have… another dad, too." Did she _understand?_

 Akira only grew more nervous when Natsuko just stared at him from Yuu's lap with big eyes. "Well- ...what we wanted to tell you is... I'm your-" 

Akira suddenly bit his tongue when he noticed Natsuko shifting slightly on Yuu's lap. Was that a good sign or a bad sign? Akira truly dreaded the second one.

 "Father," Yuu whispered in Natsuko's ear, squeezing her forearm gently when he confirmed. "He's your father, Darling."

 "Yes." Akira swallowed thickly and cleared his throat, letting out a shaky breath and chuckling just a little. He scratched the side of his neck as he looked down at the table, too weak to be able to see their daughter's shocked reaction.

 "It's the truth. I really am…" he trailed off slightly, then regained the little confidence in his voice. "…your father. But, Natsuko, if you're only comfortable with calling me 'Suzuki-san', please keep using it. Because, I know you may need some more time to accept this and get-"

   
"My dad?" Natsuko croaked, lifting her head to look up at Yuu to see him nod when their gazes met. And the first thing she did was lifting her gloved hands to wipe tears away from her red cheeks, chest heaving all the bubbling emotions she contained inside as she curled slightly against Yuu. 

"I'm sorry..." Akira moved closer and placed his arm around Natsuko, her face hidden in Yuu's chest as she sobbed and sniffled. This was the first time he saw her crying, and it was tightening his chest in overwhelmingly painful knots.

 "I'm sorry I wasn't there to see you for the last ten years, from your first baby steps until about two weeks ago, all grown up into this adorable and  nice girl. But I promise you, one day, when you're older, you'll know and understand the real reason as to why it happened. Right now, all I want is to keep spending time with you as much as I can. We're a family and I love you both equally, more than anything else. Just, please... accept me as your dad."

 Yuu was holding his daughter tightly. Of course it was a shock for her and it was more than normal for her to react the way she did. Pressing his lips to the top of her hair, Yuu threw a glance at Akira. The brown-haired man seemed on edge, nervous but determined at the same time. He wanted to work this out perfectly, that much was sure. Yuu smiled.

He pulled back and gently stroked his palm over Natsuko's head. "Darling, do you think you'll be alright? We don't want this to move too fast for you, hm?" 

 Natsuko sniffed again, wiping at her nose as she looked back and forth between her parents. She seemed shy, something Yuu wasn't used to with his daughter but on the other hand, it was logical.

 "You'll have lots of time to get to know him, okay?" Yuu continued and reached for her hand.

 The little girl inhaled and bit her bottom lip. Something was on her mind and Akira and Yuu waited patiently for her to speak out. Hurrying her was the worst thing they could do. 

"Is he... going to move in now?" she asked timidly and the question made Yuu laugh out loud.

 "No, no, he won't, don't worry," he replied and couldn't prevent a grin from appearing on his lips. Akira grinned back. "Not yet."

 "But he will pick me up from school if you're at work? Like Kou-chan usually does?"

 Yuu tensed a little but it was barely noticeable. "If you want him to, of course."

 That was something he hadn't told Akira yet, that Kouyou used to be the one picking Natsuko up. But after everything that had happened, Akira surely had figured that out, right? And Yuu couldn't have kept that information from him forever anyway.

 

"I'll be glad to do it if you want me to." Akira nodded at Yuu, signaling him if that was what she really wanted, then the least Akira could ask for was for Yuu to discuss it with Kouyou on his behalf. Akira doubted Kouyou would want to talk to him or even see his face after what had happened.

 "I guess everything is okay now?" Akira smiled at Yuu, then  down at Natsuko. "Do you want to go back to the playground?" She shook her head without a word and he nodded in understanding. She probably needed to spend some time at home, no longer having the mood to play anymore and after all the crying- 

"I want to go to the cat cafe with mom and dad."

 Akira blinked, staring at Natsuko with wide eyes. He glanced to his side and shared a surprised look with Yuu who gave him a bright smile afterwards. Although it was nearly inaudible, they still had managed to catch it that, no doubt, Natsuko had just called Akira 'dad.' Clearly she was going to need a little more time to grasp the real concept of her fathers’ relationship but that was okay.

 "Yeah. I mean, okay..." Akira nodded a few times, feeling a wide smile stretch across his face. He just couldn't believe it. "Okay."

He moved to stand up and helped Natsuko slide off Yuu's lap. Unexpectedly, once her boots hit the ground, she quickly wrapped her small arms around his waist, hugging him firmly and surprising both him and Yuu altogether. 

Yuu was merely gaping at this point. Was it really going to be that easy? He smiled as he stepped forward to press a chaste kiss to Akira's cheek, then reached for his daughter's hand.

 "Then let's go, Darling." 

And without having to be asked, Natsuko lifted her little, gloved hand and, albeit shyly, took Akira's. Yuu could tell it was making him nervous but Akira gripped it either way, smiling down at her.

 They made their way out of the park, walking in silence for a few minutes. So many thoughts were rushing through Yuu's head. 

"Uh, Akira, you- ," they stopped at a red traffic light, "I don't know what your schedule's like but I... I mean, thinking of mine, I guess two times a week should be... arrangeable?"

 "Mm, I'm okay with that. Just text me the time and address of her school later," Akira said distractedly while watching Natsuko who was silently looking at a sleeping infant being cradled in its father's arms, the mother standing beside him holding their older child's hand. The whole family was waiting on the opposite side of the street.

 When the traffic light beamed green, they all crossed the path patiently, and that was when Akira could see a smile slowly making its way to Natsuko's face, felt her grip around his hand tightening and happiness like never before radiated from her.  
 

That was all that mattered to Akira.

***

| 5 Days later |

 

Today was a day just as busy the previous ones. The strange silence that was hanging between them now seemed like a normal thing they were getting used to. Kouyou looked _normal_ and less unkempt today, having finally gotten himself together after their fight. His facial hair had been shaved, hair looking bit shorter, and the permanent frown that had always settled between his eyebrows was no longer there.

 "Yuu," He said without looking at who he was talking to, voice monotonous, while he scrolled through the screen of his computer. "Boss wants you to be prepared for a meeting next week to present your thoughts on the new jewellery line to the directors. They just want to hear it from you as one of the designers."

 Yuu looked up from the e-mail he'd been reading to find Kouyou's gaze stubbornly focused on his own computer. It made him smile bitterly. "Okay," was the only thing he said.

 The situation between them hadn't exactly gotten "better," it had merely... settled down a little. Yuu was still fully aware of how much Kouyou seemed to hate Akira and everything he stood for. On the other hand, Kouyou had done _everything_ in order to get Yuu's designs onto their boss' desk. And it had worked after all, hence the meeting next week.  
  


 Yuu was still so conflicted. He wanted to let Kouyou now about what had happened, that he'd met up with Akira and Natsuko and that they were about to... become a family. He wanted to let him know that he was actually _happy_ with the decisions he'd made.

 "Are we going for lunch together, Kou?" he asked eventually, directing his glance at the blond.

 Kouyou was going to find out sooner or later anyway because Yuu had to tell him that Akira was going to pick Natsuko up from school in the future. And it was better to tell him personally than have him find out himself, right? Surely Kouyou would understand?

 Kouyou nodded once, then replied crisply, "Yeah, sure. It's been awhile." Truth was, it felt like forever to him. But he had really needed the time and distance to finally be able to loosen himself up.

 Of course he was aware of the mistake he'd made, had been feeling and carrying the silent guilt that was haunting and gnawing at his sanity in the corner of his mind. Just how much more immature could he be for snapping at Yuu and barking at him the way he had (in public for hell's sake)? And mentioning Natsuko and labeling her birth as a burden to Yuu without thinking at all made him feel like he should beat the crap out of his past self... 

Yes, he should apologize for that. For all of that. 

"Same place as usual, Yuu?"

*

 

Akira stared down at the company’s address Yutaka had given him. He was pretty sure he'd heard of the familiar brand somewhere else before... something about his colleague mentioning ecstatic interest in buying new jewellery from that particular brand for his daughter's birthday? If he remembered correctly. He hadn't really paid much attention to the details of their random conversation anyway. 

Akira could've asked Yuu himself for the address, but he figured a surprise would be a lot better. The reason he wanted to meet Yuu - other than just to see him in flesh - was to suggest and discuss about having their daughter over at his place during the weekends in order to spend more time together. 

Well, since it was lunch break, Yuu was probably having his meal in one of the nearby restaurants or cafes he frequented around the company building, so it wasn't going to take a lot of time for Akira to find him.

*

"Sure."

 Yuu smiled as he got up to fetch his jacket from the coat rack further down the corridor.

 He was glad Kouyou seemed to have calmed down but the closer they came to the elevator, the more nervous he got. He still wanted to tell the blond everything and judging from how his hands were shaking, even though buried in his pockets, Yuu figured that just blurting it out would be the better way as opposed to beating around the bush for long. 

"Kouyou, I have to- "

 With a soft Ding, the elevator came to a stop on the third floor and a whole crowd of IT-specialists joined them on their ride down to the base floor.

 Yuu could feel that Kouyou looked at him, in worry and curiosity and it made him dread this "confession" even more. His chest rose with a deep inhale and of course Kouyou was going to ask. Interestingly enough though, he waited until they'd exited the building and emerged onto the busy sidewalks of Tokyo.

 "What did you -"   
  


But Yuu didn't let him finish.   
  


"I met Akira again, at the park, with Natsuko and we told her that he's her father and I think we're finally going to be a family."

 It was a rush of words, some syllables were swallowed because he was _so_ nervous but they hit their target with cruel precision.

 Kouyou's expression changed within milliseconds and it bore witness to how he realized that he was definitely not going to have a single chance to win Yuu over anymore. His chances were _gone._ Yuu didn't _want_ him. Yuu had _never_ wanted him.

 Yuu frowned a little. Why wasn't he saying anything? Stepping up in front of the blond, he raised his voice questioningly. "Kou?"

 He wasn't listening. He wasn't breathing. He just couldn't.

 Kouyou curled his tense fingers against his palms, nostrils flaring silently, hands shaking from the anger that had been kept at bay, now released and coiling into his muscles and burning inside his head.  
 

Did Yuu expect him to be weak, accept it and fucking move on just like that? Oh please, after all these years, after all and everything he had given, Yuu was going to give him _nothing_ in return?  
 

Was Yuu ever going to be sorry for that?

 He forgot about apologizing to Yuu for being an asshole. Kouyou was just going to be one again, and a hell lot worse.

 "All three of you are going to be a _family?"_

He threw his head back and gave a hoarse, bitter laugh. Funny, yes the thought was funny. What Yuu said was funny.

"Congratulations. Thanks a fucking lot for telling me."  
  


 For nothing. And what were they supposed to do now? Oh, right. Lunch. Yeah no, Kouyou no longer had the appetite.

 Yuu shied back with a shocked expression. Fuck, he should've expected that.

 "Kouyou...," he began, his tone careful as if afraid that his friend was going to break into tears if he did so much as raise his voice too high. "Please, I... You know- " 

 But the blond cut him off, face distorted by anger and bitterness.  
 

"Yes, Yuu, I _know._ I know I'm not enough," Kouyou barked, pointing at his own chest with his fingers, "I _can’t_ be enough, can I? Because I'm not _him_. You know, secretly I was hoping he would dump you. I was hoping he'd leave you like you left him ten years ago so that I could- "

 He stopped. And Yuu just stared. He didn't want to believe the words he'd heard but he knew that every single one was true. Yuu lowered his gaze, feeling the stares of people walking by on him.

 Just when he looked back up, Kouyou's gaze was firmly focused on something behind Yuu. It seemed to irk him, made him frown and then his lips twitched into an... almost evil smile. Yuu didn't have the nerve to check what it was because he really wanted to get this entire thing over with.

 "Kouyou, look, I know it's my fault but you have to- "

 And again, Yuu's words were swallowed. But this time, it wasn't because Kouyou was throwing accusations at him. This time, it was because lips were pressed to his own. Soft, warm lips that tasted like despair and offered a kiss, begging for it to be accepted.

 Yuu's eyes widened and his gasp slipped straight into Kouyou's mouth. What... What was going on? 

With both of his hands placed flat on the blond's chest, Yuu tried pushing him away but the way his lips moved to form words of protest was only more of a reason for Kouyou to kiss him harder. People were staring a lot more obviously now but the hushed words spoken between the two men remained unheard by them.  
  


 "Mm-... S-Sto-... K-Kouy- "

 "I'm begging you, Yuu, please. You need to- "

 "I can't, don't you understand, I l-lo- "

 "I don't want to hear it."  
  
 Kouyo's arms tightened around his waist and lower back and _fuck_ , Yuu couldn't escape!  
  
 "Kouyou, stop it!"

 "Yuu- " 

"You're not him! You will never be him!"  
 

That did the deed. 

Kouyou pulled back, however kept his arms possessively around Yuu. As the raven looked up at him, still looking rather terrified, with his chest heaving and his lips prickling, he was wondering what on earth it was that had attracted Kouyou's attention again. 

He turned around and stared straight into Akira's eyes.

*

Yuu couldn't have been alone. Akira should've known. He shouldn't have blocked that small uneasy thought from his mind, should have listened to it earlier, and then prepared himself to find Yuu with Kouyou.

 But not like this.

 Akira jerked his head back, not wanting to hold Yuu's gaze. It still hurt though. And it hurt even more when he redirected his wavering eyes back to Kouyou. That dark scowl and smug smirk were grating on his nerves so much his blood was boiling with irritation.

 What was that bastard trying to prove here? It was clear enough he had forced himself on Yuu and the way his arms locked tight around the raven's waist was against the other's willingness. Adding the shocked expression printed across Yuu's face...

 Akira wasn't going to allow Kouyou to think he'd defeated him, in a way. Yet he found his feet carrying him into the other direction, leaving the scene and Yuu and Kouyou and refusing to hear Yuu's words calling after him. Akira could only focus on the colliding thoughts inside his head right now.

 Kouyou really loved Yuu, didn't he? Perhaps, if Akira had never showed up, Kouyou would've not acted that way. Ever.

 

"Akira!"

 Yuu wanted to follow him, run after him, but Kouyou's arms were viselike around him.

 "Let me go!" he therefore hissed at him, clearly in annoyance, and yanked himself free, out of this god damn embrace he had never asked for.

 "Akira!" he exclaimed again, almost yelled so loudly that people were staring even more.

 Fuck.

 Akira had long disappeared across the street and down the Avenue, mixing in the crowd and making it impossible for Yuu to spot him.

 He twirled back around and without thinking much, delivered a sharp, resounding slap to Kouyou's cheek. He was furious. "Did you really think that was going to make it better??" he asked vociferously. "Did you really think forcing me into a kiss would make me magically fall in love with you?? For fuck's sake, Kouyou!"

 Running a hand through his black hair, Yuu shook his head. He was furious _and_ disappointed. "You did the exact opposite."

 And with that, he left. He spent lunch alone, trying to reach Akira but he was sent to voice mail every single time. He didn't return to work after lunch either, just called the office to call in sick for the rest of the day. No way could he stand the sight of Kouyou's face any longer.

 

 


	8. More plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lengthy one this time, and we're getting closer to the end. Hope you enjoy :)

A photo of what we imagine Natsuko to look like :) 

*******

 

Akira let his two days, pent-out anger bomb against his target, throwing repeated combinations of short and deep punches into the boxing bag. He was doing very well considering he was imagining a certain asshole's face right in front of him.

He had been thinking too much, couldn't find a way to distract himself anymore and now he just needed to release all the jumbled thoughts that had messed up his head.

 _Dammit!_ He was still furious about the whole fucking thing. Not just that smug bastard, but himself as well. He should've done something else other than merely walking away like some broken-hearted teenager.

He should've went straight up to Kouyou. He should've tried to choke the life out of him until he was begging for mercy.

But no, that would've put Akira on the same **low** level as Kouyou and that was the last thing he aimed for.

He moved around, keeping his feet on the ground as he switched his punches to more aggressive and harder ones, growing determined to wear off the white handwraps and sore the skin of his knuckles.

However, he was abruptly stopped by the sound of his ringing phone coming from across the mini gym of his apartment.

His first thought was to ignore it, but after spending the following moments gasping for heavy breaths and listening to the second and third rings, he gave up and went over to grab the phone. It was probably Yuu, _again_.

And he was right.

His heart couldn't help but plummet when he saw the name on the display. It just now dawned on him that he'd been focusing too much on busting Kouyou's head ever since the incident, the guilt knotting inside him as he hadn't thought much about Yuu, _and_ had been avoiding any communication with him, too.

Akira sighed, sitting down on a backless bench as he stared at the phone screen. He could be a stubborn ass sometimes, but he shouldn't be. Not now. Yuu didn't deserve to be treated that way. Yuu needed him. After being humiliated so openly in the public, surely he needed someone close to understand him. And Akira had refused to be that person even though _he_ was clearly the subject of the issue Kouyou had going on.

Just why did the both of them have to love the same man?

Using a fresh towel from the pile beside him, Akira wiped at the sweat lining his chest and pressed the speaker function of his phone, placing it next to him.

"Hey..." he said quietly after bracing himself, "Sorry for not answering sooner. How was your day?"

Was that even an appropriate question? _How was your day?_ Well, his own day had been crap. He just hoped Yuu wasn't going to say that his had been just as bad because it would just make him feel _even worse_ , knowing he was responsible for a large part of it.  


Yuu winced as Akira's voice resounded at his ear. He hadn't expected him to pick up, to be honest.

"Uh, Hi- I-... Um, not really..."

He trailed off. His day had been terrible, filled with concern that after witnessing the kiss, Akira was going to push him away once and for all.

He sniffed.

"Look, Akira... I'm sorry. I didn't want that to happen, Kouyou just... He... only did it to make you angry."

That was the truth and Yuu was internally begging for him to believe it. Then again, Akira had _seen_ it, the way Kouyou had been holding him in his grip. He _had_ to believe it.

"It wasn't your fault."

Akira believed Yuu. Slowly he worked his jaw, then loosened it with a sigh, head dropping into his hand-covered towel.

"He wouldn't have done that if he hadn't seen me..." And if he hadn't been there. "How long has he been loving you, Yuu? For him to pull an act like that..."

There was a catch in his voice as his sentence faded into a whisper. What the fuck was he doing? It was like he was trying to weaken himself by pointing out the obvious.

How did Yuu feel about that? And... _wait_ , was Yuu crying at the other end? Judging from the occasional sniffling and faltering sentences. _Fuck_ , Akira couldn't shake off the tremor of emotion he was battling against now, Yuu's voice and words weren't helping and were clenching around his heart so tight he was barely breathing.

Why on earth was Akira asking that?

"Um... A few years, I guess."

Yuu wanted to change the topic as quickly as possible.

"Look, I... Do you want to meet up? I... want to see you. At the park, maybe? I can bring Natsuko along."

Because the best thing was talking things out personally, right?

_Says the one who broke up with him via Skype._

He needed to see Yuu. He missed him so much he swore he wouldn't be able to stay calm and have a good night's sleep.

"Yeah, sure. I have a few other things to talk about that involve Natsuko... so, it'd be better to have her around too." Akira sagged a little with relief. "Tomorrow, if you two don't mind?"

Yuu nodded, despite there being nobody to see it. "Sure! Tomorrow's perfect. Let's say 3?"

They agreed to meet up at the park they'd been at with Natsuko before and from the point of hanging up all the way to the moment that he and his daughter entered the park the next day, Yuu felt a strange mixture of nervousness and... anticipation. He wanted to see Akira again, not just because he had to apologize but... Just because.

*

He wasn't there yet when they arrived so Yuu let Natsuko go play before he settled on one of the benches nearby and retrieved the two bento boxes from his bag. Akira had said he was having presentations until 2 so Yuu thought, _why not bring some lunch?_

Well, the presentations had been regretfully dragged on for thirty minutes. Usually, Akira didn't mind much because there were _always_ issues to be brought up in the middle of presentations and meetings, but with the promise of seeing his daughter today...

And damn, his sour expressions when other directors had kept on voicing their doubts upon a particular matter in their discussion had been _way_ too obvious. Akira had definitely been the one letting loose the loudest sigh of relief when they had wrapped it all up.

Hungry. He really was hungry. But he wasn't about to make Yuu and Natsuko wait any longer just because he had to grab a bite from a drive thru. Maybe the three of them could head over to a restaurant and have lunch after this.

When he arrived at the park, Akira quickly went on searching for Yuu and their daughter, smiling widely when he laid eyes upon Natsuko first, who called for him with a cheerful shout and quickly left the swing to run towards her father for a hug. Surprise took all over her face when Akira suddenly picked her up into his arms, and laughed in Yuu's direction as he carried her.

" _Papaaaaaaa!_ I'm not a little kid anymore!" She giggled nonetheless.

"I know, but I've been wanting to do this. I just missed you so much, my girl. At least you're very light."

It was with a grin that he stopped in front of Yuu, his expression morphing into one of surprise when he looked down at the bento boxes in the raven's lap. Instantly his heart melted at the sight, stomach grumbling ever so loudly as he seated himself next to Yuu and Natsuko on his thighs (all while not breaking eye contact with that bento).

"Wah... I haven't had bento for so long..." He said with a contented whisper, leaning in to kiss Yuu on the cheek.

"His bento is the _best_ ," Natsuko said proudly and Akira grinned.

"Really? I can't wait to eat it now, oh my God."

Yuu laughed aloud at Akira's words but couldn't keep himself from blushing a little at the kiss he received. Ugh, he wanted so much _more_ than just a kiss _on the cheek_.

But no. He had to pull himself together.

"Glad you've got me, huh?" he giggled and placed one of the bentos in front of him, along with a pair of chopsticks. Then he addressed his daughter. "Darling, do you want to keep sitting there? Here are your chopsticks."

He handed her a smaller pair of children's chopsticks.

"Mhmm," Natsuko nodded when she took them from Yuu. She didn't appear to be planning on leaving Akira's lap anytime soon but he didn't mind a bit.

After he led their little prayer, they all began eating. After he'd let Natsuko choose which piece of food of the bento she wanted to have first, compliment after compliment bubbled up from Akira's mouth at how delicious Yuu's cooking was. There was no need to go to a restaurant after this.

"You see, Natsuko," Akira cleared his throat, drawing their daughter's attention. "I've been thinking about bringing you to my place during weekends."

She widened her eyes and nodded happily, with her mouth still full, making Akira laugh. "That is... If I get the green light from your dad. You can bring your homework or toys or..."

He trailed off, focusing his gaze on Yuu whose eyes lightened up.

So Akira definitely wasn't thinking of leaving him! His heart sank with relief.

"Of course," he smiled and reached out for Akira's chopstick-free hand. He squeezed it gently and it was at that point that Yuu felt like _this_ was the start of their future, together, as a family. He never wanted to let go of them anymore.

"You can pick her up from school more too," he continued after focusing back on his own bento box. "I mean, I know you're busy with your job and everything, but maybe you can arrange it, even if it's just once a week."

Akira nodded and gently brushed his thumb against Yuu's knuckles with a soft smile.

"I can, and I will." He said just as Natsuko gave a tiny cheer, turning her head to look Akira directly in the eye.

"Papa, papa! Can you come over to school next week?"

"May I know what for?" Akira patted her head lightly, happiness blossoming from within him when he thought of how casual Natsuko was now in calling him 'papa'.

"Class observation," Natsuko whispered as she moved her gaze to meet Yuu's, hesitating in her speech. "The previous years dad always came for it... but this time, can I have Papa come over to observe me? It's on Monday."

Akira mulled a little over the idea. He would have to make an adjustment to his schedule, move the board discussions and meetings with clients to the days before or after. But something, he noticed, like a silent, intense emotion in Natsuko's eyes that he couldn't figure out, made him feel a lot more curious.

She lowered her faltering gaze at the wordless response, swinging her small feet back and forth.

"I want to show my friends I have... my own Papa now."

Yuu smiled fondly as he lifted a hand to brush it over his daughter's hair. "Oh honey, I'm sure he'll get there just for you, okay?" Quickly he threw Akira a gaze. "Don't worry."

Her face brightened up again and she hopped off her father's lap with a cheerful "Okay, yay!", then kissed his cheek and proceeded to run back to the playground.

Yuu chuckled, sliding closer to Akira so they could finish the bentos together. "She really likes you. I wasn't expecting her to adjust to you that quickly, to be honest."

Again, he lifted his head and as their eyes met, he couldn't stop himself from reaching out and placing his hand on top of Akira's, squeezing it lightly again. "I'm really glad."

"She has the will, Yuu. To make it work. And it will." Akira retracted his hand, only to snake his arm around Yuu's shoulder and press him up against his side, the raven's head tilted and rested on the curvy column of his shoulder. Even though they nearly toppled the bento boxes off their laps (but managed to fix them in time), they stayed in that intimate position, savoring it entirely.

Akira thought of what he was supposed to say. Certainly _nothing_ about Kouyou and what had happened because of him. That would ruin the mood.

It wasn't like he didn't want to make this silent and precious moment last, he _did_ , but he also felt like he should tell Yuu something he'd been keeping for a while already.

"Yuu," he started, paused and continued with a released breath. "I called my parents two days ago. I... told them about you and Natsuko." He waited for a beat. "They couldn't talk for a moment, but eventually... My mother... She wants to meet her. I'm not gonna lie, Yuu, she actually sounded _excited_. As for my father, he might... um, need more time to accept it. I know how badly they treated you ten years ago, but we both understand why. I hope you've forgiven them for that. They're getting older, they're not as harsh anymore. Are they wiser? I don't know, perhaps. But they're different now. And I really want them to meet you and Natsuko one day, sooner or later."

  
Admittedly, Yuu was definitely surprised. He had no good memories about Akira's parents, at all. And now they wanted to meet him, and their daughter?

"Hm," he made thoughtfully, biting his lip as he snuggled closer to his lover. On the other hand, 10 years had passed and it was probably best to forget about what had happened. Yuu had changed, become a different person, so had Akira and probably his parents. So it was okay.

"Fine," he ended up nodding. "But.. Not too soon, right? Not in the next two weeks or so!"

He looked a little scared there but relaxed once Akira shook his head and smiled at him. _Good_.

"Oh Akira, there's... also another thing I'd like to ask..."

"What is it?" Was it about Natsuko? The tone in Yuu's voice made Akira feel a little unsettled. Maybe it was about something else entirely? "Tell me."

"Uhm..."

Well, his question was _clearly_ off topic and he was almost a bit ashamed to ask but... To be honest, he knew Akira couldn't deny him anything.

"So, I've been thinking... about _my birthday_ , uh... I wanted to invite a few people but my apartment is so... small."

 _Ah_ , realization was already dawning on the other's face. Yuu giggled and quickly continued. "I mean, I've never been to your place but I'm pretty sure it's bigger than mine so... I was wondering..."

Biting his lip, Yuu started grinning. He definitely had other things in mind too but... They were less important now.

"You were..."  
Yuu's birthday. Akira felt his jaw unhinge for a moment there. He couldn't have simply _forgotten_ about it, right? "Wondering?"

 _Oh_ , _shit_. Yuu's birthday was really around the corner.

Speaking of apartment size - well, as Akira compared it to Yuu's... With four bedrooms, a small library, a mini gym, an office, a music room and a tiny indoor garden... His place was indeed several times larger.

Sometimes he wondered why he had even bought it in the first place, considering he was living alone (still). It was probably his mother's fault (like a lot of things), she'd been of the opinion that a man with a profession as highly esteemed as his needed an accordingly large and luxurious place to stay in.

Damn. What day did Yuu's birthday fall on? Akira was resisting the urge to whip out his phone and check the calendar. _Crap_. He should get a big hit on his head. Yuu was probably entertained to see him this slightly worked up.

"Bad news is, my place is a little... uninteresting," he said truthfully, undoubtedly based on his own judgement. He leaned in to whisper in Yuu's ear. "But we have Natsuko to use her arts master skills to decorate so we can leave that to her? Which also means, _yes_ , we can celebrate your birthday at my place." He lifted one finger and tapped the tip of Yuu's nose. "But under one condition, you're not allowed to step into my apartment until that day."

Yuu's first reaction was a big and loud "Eeehhhhh??"

It was so loud in fact, that people around them lifted their heads to look at them in surprise. Yuu giggled at them sweetly before turning to face Akira.

"What do you mean, I'm not allowed?" he repeated aghast, "I understand you want it to be a surprise but that's torture!"

He pouted, boxing his fist lightly against Akira's chest. "I really wanted to see how you live..."

He ended up giving in, though. It honestly made him happy that, even though Akira had _obviously_ forgotten about his birthday at first, he was now at least trying to make an effort, trying to come up with a plan. And Yuu appreciated that more than anything.

"Fine fine," he whistled, snuggling into his lover's arms comfortably. "But I'm really not so sure about your plans of letting Natsuko have her way with your walls. Because she can be ruthless, she draws _everywhere_."

Akira laughed and Yuu took a quick look around, checking whether there was anyone in hearing range. There wasn't so he leaned back even further into Akira's chest, tilting his head back lightly.

"You should also... put her into the bedroom that's... the farthest away from yours," he grinned, "Just saying."

Akira felt the corner of his lips twitch, his eyes already smiling. Akira knew what Yuu was hinting at and he found it interesting to see how different this adult Yuu was approaching the topic. Teen Yuu would've just straight out demanded for it if he wanted to get fucked and not beat around the bush like he did now (not that it was a bad thing, Akira loved both versions of Yuu no matter what).

"I was thinking about the same thing," he played along, "we should make sure she plays _a lot_ beforehand, so she will have a long, high quality sleep for the _whole_ night."

He leaned down and kissed Yuu's forehead gently, smiling against the soft skin and unable to resist kissing his lips next.  

 

Yuu chuckled into the kiss to his lips, momentarily getting carried away as his fingers moved up and across Akira's cheek. He was well aware that they were still in a public space here but the way Akira was kissing him now... It was obvious they both couldn't wait to be alone together again. Their liplock grew more heated for quite a few seconds until the unmistakably irritated clearing of a throat coming from nearby coaxed them to break apart. Yuu's eyes found an elderly lady that had passed their bench and despite her angry look, he couldn't help but giggle. "I'm sorry," he muttered, more towards Akira though, "I probably shouldn't risk ruining your public image like this, should I?"

Akira blinked, then groaned in frustration at the old woman and sent her a glare. "To hell with my public image..." He frowned and pouted, angrily taking a hold of his chopsticks and stabbing into a piece of food, its shape becoming disrupted. At this point he didn't really think of anything else that mattered other than to continue kissing Yuu, but... the idea went down the drain and he scoffed as he quickly shoved the food into his mouth. Damn he was frustrated, _so_ fucking frustrated.

He threw his gaze to the playground, seeing their daughter's figure behind the stairs. She had her mouth cupped with two gloved hands, bent a little at the waist and she looked like... she was trying not to laugh at what had just happened to her parents.

"....Even she thinks it was funny." This time, Akira's face was priceless. He was definitely bitter over the whole situation.

Yuu laughed out loud at his boyfriend's expression (Oh did it feel nice to be using that word again), perching an arm on Akira's shoulder as he put on a sneaky smirk.

"Aaw, would you rather have some alone-time with me, hm, Aki?"

He broke into a fit of giggles again, pulling back and reaching to open his own bento box. Why was it that he almost felt like his old, high-school self again? Thinking of how he was actually older than Akira, Yuu found it absolutely absurd that even his adult self could get flustered by any little thing Akira did or said. However, it was better than having a distant feeling between them, right? Yuu smiled to himself thoughtfully while he was chewing on a roll of sushi.

Akira sighed. If he could've had his way he would've taken the two of them to a more private place, right now, he'd screw waiting for Yuu's birthday just to make it happen. His patience was wearing off.

While Yuu was smiling and finishing his sushi, Akira - finally - spent the time checking the calendar on his phone, his mind already making calculations for Yuu's birthday party; pre, during and post. He hummed in thoughts. About a month from now, maybe he could still be able to teach Natsuko...

A text from Yutaka suddenly popped up on the screen and Akira swiped it open.

_Kai (Fri, 3:34 PM)  
_

Dude! Look at what I found! (Attached photo)

_Kai (Fri, 3:35 PM)  
_

Someone from our batch sent it to me actually (lol) He was one of our school photographers. Anyway, I realized we looked so damn different back then, it's hilarious!!

_Kai (Fri, 3:35 PM)  
_

Look at you!

_Kai (Fri, 3:35 PM)  
_

And Yuu too!

_Kai (Fri, 3:36 PM)  
_

Good old memories :) I feel so old. Man, I think even have tears in my eyes now.

 

Akira felt his mood lift that instant, and he let out a soft chuckle of disbelief as he continued to gaze at the photo Yutaka had sent to him.

_Reita (Fri, 3:38 PM)  
_

I swear to God this is one of the best things that's happened to me today. Thanks. Yuu's probably going to kill me when I show it to him though.

_Kai (Fri, 3:39 PM)  
_

I doubt it (lol) He's sure gonna like it :)

 

Akira lifted his head when he heard footsteps running in his direction, and prepared a fake pout for when she stopped in front of him, sliding his phone back into his pocket. Unlike earlier, this time he didn't let Natsuko sit on his lap, instead crossed his legs. In the silence that followed after, Natsuko blinked at him, then gave a cute frown when she crossed her arms. Akira mimicked her.

They both were like mirrors to one another.

Yuu was looking from Akira to Natsuko and back to Akira.

Akira waited and raised one eyebrow expectantly.

"I'm sorry," Natsuko said it first, her pout growing bigger. "I just thought it was funny. But I was so happy watching you kissing dad. Honest!" She whined.

"And?"

"You both were so sweet. I'm sorry for laughing," Natsuko couldn't help but giggle a little this time when Akira finally fixed the position of his legs and patted his lap at her sincere confession. Natsuko excitedly obliged.

"Actually, I've something to show you," Akira said, gaining a curious look from Natsuko. He grinned and retrieved his phone, seeing a new text from Yutaka.

 _Kai (3:43 PM)  
_ Natsuko is gonna like it too!

 _Something we both will be looking at 10 years later?_ He remembered himself asking Yuu. Well, who would've thought it was going to be the three of them instead?

"This was taken when we had our last senior field trip," Akira started with a smile, Natsuko gasped in awe. "Can you tell which one is me?"  


Yuu peeked over to take a glimpse at the photo on Akira's phone. He smiled, since he'd already seen this one, but it was nice seeing their daughter so excited over it.

"Eeh, is that you??" she squeaked and tapped her finger on Akira's blond hair from back then. "And that's Yutaka-kun, right?"

Yuu found it amusing that she even recognized Yutaka. He'd changed a lot, physically. But hell was Yuu glad Natsuko didn't ask about where Kouyou was.

"Mhm, we already knew each other back then," he explained while chewing on rice and tapping on his and Akira's teen forms with his chopsticks, "just like your dad and me, see?"

It kind of made him feel a little melancholic. Considering how quickly everything had gone downhill after this...

 

Akira saw the look on Yuu's face, reached for his hand to squeeze it lovingly and smiled slightly, turning his gaze back to the phone when Natsuko started asking about a few other of their ex-classmates. She took one grape from the bento box and tentatively listened to Akira telling her about the field trip as she ate it, though after awhile when she leaned back against Akira's chest, he knew she must be feeling tired and a little sleepy by now.

He smiled and gently carded his fingers through Natsuko's dark bangs, brushing them off her closed eyes and forehead.

"I'm sorry, was it boring for you?" He chuckled softly.

Natsuko shook her head a little, seemingly comfortable in his arms. She curved a sleepy smile.

"I liked it so much. I never knew dad was that famous. Yutaka-kun told me about it, but I never trusted him because I always thought he was joking. Well, he jokes a lot." She giggled, then dissolved into mumbling as her small fingers touched Akira's phone screen. "I want to see more old photos of you, or both of you together. Can I?"

Akira smiled, letting her small body curl against him. It was so adorable and his heart sank even further in his chest. She definitely looked just like Yuu at this moment. "Why do you want to see them so bad?"

"'Cause you looked funny and so different wearing glasses." Natsuko gave a soft giggle, Akira's smile dropped and a pout formed immediately on his mouth.

"Well, that's why I don't wear them anymore..." He pursed his lips. "But I think I look better and more handsome without them?"

When he received no response from her, Akira tilted his head to the side a little to take a look at her and sighed. "She fell asleep. I guess I won't know her answer for the rest of my life."

Yuu laughed and waved his chopsticks in front of Akira's face. "You don't really think your daughter would choose between you with and without glasses. I don't think she minds."

"Well, you might think that but- "

"Akira." Yuu casted a rebuking but amused glance over to the brunet as he leaned in closer, whispering in order to not wake Natsuko up, who had indeed fallen asleep in her father's arms.

"It doesn't matter," he cooed sweetly, "We love you either way. Okay?"

They chuckled simultaneously. Sure, it was a ridiculous topic but it kind of had Yuu happy that, even though they had had to talk about a few serious things in terms of parenting, they were still able to fool around. It made his heart feel sort of... light.

*

 

Akira and Yuu left the park about twenty minutes later when they had finished the bento boxes, Akira all but insisting on driving his boyfriend and daughter home despite a rather important meeting at work he had coming up. Not that Yuu complained though, he got to enjoy a ride in, honestly, probably the most expensive car he'd ever laid eyes upon. Natsuko didn't notice any of it, sleeping like a rock on her dad's lap on the passenger's side, then as Yuu carried her to their apartment. Akira was all over them the entire time. He wanted to make sure that Yuu was okay with the schedule they'd set up, that they had enough food in the fridge, that Natsuko didn't have to stay alone too long while Yuu was at work in the afternoons - it almost seemed as if he wanted to make up for what he'd missed the past ten years within the span of three hours.

"It's fine, really," Yuu assured for the hundredth time after he'd managed to get Natsuko to bed. She was probably going to wake up again in an hour or so, so he wanted to use the time to relax a little by himself. Currently though, he was busy trying not to give in to the firm embrace Akira was holding him in. "I still have my job, you know? I can buy food, too."

"I know," Akira said while ghosting his lips all over the raven's cheek, "I just want to make sure you will be alright. And you can always- "

"It's _fine_ ," Yuu cut him off again, pressing a hand to the other's chest to keep him from smothering him. "Look, we've been fine the past ten years so... Don't worry."

Yuu showed an apologetic grin upon having to bring _that_ up again. It was really charming how Akira was so concerned about his family's well-being now, however, Yuu couldn't let it take overhand, right?

He placed his palm to Akira's cheek and stood on his tiptoes for a brief kiss. "Just let me know whether you can pick her up on Wednesday, okay? Everything else... will be fine."

Akira sighed defeatedly but his smile made obvious that he understood where Yuu was coming from.

"Alright," he said and kissed him again gently, "I'll text you once I get my appointments figured out."

They kissed again, and _again_ and Yuu really didn't want it to stop but knew it had to. They couldn't possibly start making out in the apartment doorway, could they?

After waving until Akira had disappeared inside the elevator, Yuu closed the door behind himself. He felt like they were on the right path. But now he also felt like having a large, sugared bowl of steaming hot tea.


	9. The Confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author Miya: Hey everyone, it's been over a year since the last update and we're sorry about that. This chapter is rather short, but we hope you guys will still enjoy it. We're not sure when the next update will be, we've recently picked this story back up...But rest assured, we had long ago plotted everything for the upcoming chapters (we did for all to be honest), it's just a matter of getting to write it. Anyway, comments and kudos would be very much appreciated. <3 (Side note: Did a major editing for chapter 1-8 of Fatal Charm, if some of you have read it before, you might be able to tell some changes have been made if you reread those chapters) <3

Kouyou stared at the dark reflection in his glass of wine, looking so still. Nothing about his expression suggested warm and friendly words, no one bothered to approach him for a small talk. Not that he minded one bit, he was literally disinterested to use this opportunity of networking despite their boss's persistence demanding him and a few others to do it.

He wasn't in the office. Well, everyone wasn't. They were currently in one of the large rooms in the company where so many invited people had come to gather, witness and celebrate the launch of the new line of jewelry.

Yuu's creation was at the center, encased in thick, glass transparent box. The light reflected on the high-quality metal shone the brightest in the dim-lit place, capturing tens, hundreds of the guests' attention from a distance to draw them closer and closer. Kouyou's heart cracked each time he heard someone compliment on the beautiful necklace and the rest of the set, for it reminded him of how much he'd secretly spent the time working with Yuu on it and encouraging him to never give up and continue.

Nothing along the usual lines of 'Do you want me to pick up Natsuko?' and the habit of fixing coffee for the two of them existed anymore. The atmosphere within the office had changed and was unlike before, and because of what he had done, he had lost Yuu. _He regretted that he had lost Yuu._

There was no way for him to apologize to Yuu anymore. Kouyou knew he wouldn't ever be forgiven. They had successfully acted like nothing as mind-gnawing as 'kissing someone else's lover just to prove _something_ ' had happened. Yuu just wouldn't talk to him anymore, and painful as it could sound, hadn't been ever since then.

The raven head was being interviewed, for sure some good photos of his designs were going to be in papers and on famous websites. But he didn't seem like he was in a hurry, in fact, he looked relaxed, but also a little nervous, since this was his first time getting a lot of attention. Usually Kouyou would find Yuu endearing when he looked like this, but he was too hurt to even think about it.

After checking the time on his watch, Kouyou gulped down the rest of his drink, placed the empty glass away and, feeling overwhelmingly unwanted here, he exited through the grand entrance with a new intention. If Yuu didn't want him anymore, at least there was another person he knew still did.

***

Yuu was in the middle of a very stimulating conversation with one of the company's other designers when he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket.

He excused himself immediately upon recognizing the number of the school Natsuko was going to. Fear was freezing him, had something happened to his daughter?

"Shiroyama," he greeted and was proven wrong right away.

"Hi dad!"

Yuu frowned. What... was she doing? It was half past three, she should've left school just now...

"Natsuko? What is it? Are you okay, darling?"

"Yes yes I'm OK! I just wanted to tell you about something I learned today and- "

"Honey, where are you? Whose phone are you using?"

About something she had learned? She sounded quite excited so seemingly 'something' couldn't wait until he got home.

"I have Toshikatsu-san's phone, in the office! DAD, I have to tell you!"

Yuu sighed and quickly sent a smile towards whoever it was he walked past on his way out of the conference room. Natsuko had been calling him 'dad' for quite a couple of days and when he stepped up to the large glass panel at the end of the hallway and began a very, even for him, weird conversation with his daughter, he finally understood why. SHE was understanding.

"Okay, so what did you learn?"

"How babies are made."

"What?"

"I said I learned how you make babies."

"I-I heard you, I mean- I... Well... Was it... interesting?"

"Not very much at the beginning. First Matsusaka-san told us about a man and woman and he used a lot of weird words and complicated drawings so I didn't want to learn about it at first. But THEN! Then he said that sometimes, because the technology at the hospitals is so developed today, sometimes a man and a man can have a baby too but he didn't have any drawings or something like that, he just called it... Uh... 'conceiving in a homosexual relationship.' Or something like that. Anyway, I thought that that is what I am and you and Papa! Right? So I got very excited."

Yuu didn't know whether he should laugh or cry. She was so PURE. And had managed to make him blush furiously without having a single clue of it. Because really, talking to your child about how they'd been conceived? It was UTTERLY embarrassing.

Despite all that though, Yuu hadn't failed to notice the nickname Natsuko had just given Akira. It made him smile brightly to himself and he nodded, but to nobody in particular.

"Uh, yes... Yes, honey, that's what we are. Did you... Enjoy learning about it?"

She giggled into the phone and Yuu could just SEE her eyes sparkling with joy. (Nevertheless, he still thought it would probably be a good idea to have another, more private talk about these kinds of things with her.)

"Yes a lot! Matsusaka-san didn't tell us a lot and his face got really red at some point! I don't know why but it was funny. I just wanted to tell you! So you're dad and... Papa's Papa. Okay?"

His heart was about ready to burst. Was she going to tell Akira the same story when he picked her up? Yuu wondered how he was going to react... Would he be just as flustered as him?

"Okay, darling. So you're still waiting for Papa?"

"Yes! I think he'll be a little late because he has lots of work. But that's OK, I'll just- Oh wait!"

The frown was back and Yuu tilted his head in curiosity, as if that was going to give him a quicker response. "What is it?"

The sound of a chair being pulled back and feet shuffling over old, wooden floor reached his ears and it took another few seconds until Natsuko replied.

"Toshikatsu-san said someone just arrived so I'll go look! Bye bye Dad!"

"Oh, alright! Okay darling, bye- "

But she had already hung up again. Yuu shook his head in playful disbelief as he tapped the red button and slid the phone back into his pants. Today had been a ridiculously great day. The promotion of HIS jewelry was coming along so well, Kouyou was finally leaving him alone and now this phone call... Yuu was sure nothing could bring him down today.

***

Now that he was here, he internally questioned the availability of the determination he had felt earlier, wondering where the hell it had unwillingly disappeared to.

Damn, he was only going to see Natsuko anyway. _Not Yuu or Akira._

Yes, he wanted to see her, that's what had fueled him to come all the way here. And to prove that he was still needed in someone's (hers) life, despite the horrible things he'd done to the people who were close to her. Sooner or later she would find out, though. If ever. Kouyou doubted Yuu would want to let his daughter know, and disrupt her relationship with Kouyou, who had been acting like a parental figure for the most part of her life.

Kouyou knew Yuu wouldn't dare to go to that extent.

He turned the key in the ignition to shut down the engine power of his car and with little strength, he climbed out of the car to make his very first hesitant appearance.

He'd come to this elementary school way so many times than he could remember, for the past 3 years he'd taken turns with Yuu to pick her up. It was logical enough to not feel like a stranger on this ground. But today was not the day.

"Kou-chan?" Natsuko blinked her big surprised eyes, an excited smile curled her lips with a vague look of confusion clouded her face.

Kouyou was relieved though as she continued making her way to him, smiling down at her by the time the 10-year-old girl stopped in front of him.

"I thought papa was going to pick me up. But I can understand if papa is busy, 'cause dad can just ask you to do it!" Natsuko smiled, the gleam in her eyes hoping that was the case.

"Yeah, and that's why I'm here now." Kouyou smiled back (although he felt bad for lying) and offered his hand to her. 

***

Akira was surprisingly excited, way more than he'd expected himself to be. One would think picking up a child from school wasn't that much of a deal, but obviously... For someone who had _never_ done that before, like Akira, it was an entirely different thing.

But Yuu was relying on him today and with his newly found father role that he was starting to grow quite fond of, Akira didn't want to disappoint him. He couldn't.

His eyes darted around as he pulled up right in front of the elementary school, excited to see Natsuko again, to find her running into his arms because she had missed him, even if it had only been a few days that they hadn't seen each other.

However, when he turned off the ignition and got out of his car, he saw something that didn't delight him in _the least._

What on earth was _he_ doing here?

Oh no, Akira wasn't having it. Not today. Who the hell did he think he was? Showing up at the school without having been asked _and_ after Yuu had made it very much clear that he didn't want to see him again.

"Natsuko!" Akira called out and she turned her back on Kouyou immediately upon hearing his voice.

"Papa!"

She came skipping over to him, just like expected, and Akira swiftly embraced her into his arms.

"Hey, little lady, how are we doing?" 

"Good! I thought you were maybe busy with work and that Dad asked Kou-chan- "

"Oh no," Akira cut her off gently and with a laugh, "No, Dad asked me to come pick you up and here I am."

He sat her back down onto her feet carefully, turning her attention towards his car. "How about you get in the car already and I'll have a quick word with... Kouyou-san, how about that?"

Natsuko nodded her head quickly in response, rubbing at her nose with her gloved hands before she ran over to the car and got into the backseat.

The second she'd disappeared inside, Akira's smile faltered. Kouyou's expression was equally as bitter and annoyed, he saw as he turned around to face him.

Burying his hands into the pockets of his suitpants while he took a few steps towards him, Akira sent the blond man a warning glare.

"So... What do you think you're doing?"

Not being able to withstand the look Akira was giving him, Kouyou averted his gaze elsewhere and squared his jaw. It felt so difficult to open his mouth to reply, especially now dark and annoyed thoughts began clouding his mind. Kouyou just didn't have the desire to say a word to Akira.

And if he could he would've left this place right away.

But he didn't want to do that. Takashima Kouyou might be an asshole, but he was not a coward.

"Trying to prove something." He muttered. The image of Natsuko entering the car after her father asked her so instantly ran through his mind. It hurt him how Akira had that kind of effects on her now, something Kouyou used to have before as well. 

A frown appeared on Akira's forehead and he tilted his head, as if he hadn't understood properly. He had though, very well.

"Prove?" he repeated with lifted eyebrows, "prove what? Prove that she still cares about you?"

Kouyou's eyes darted up at that and it had Akira scoffing. If Kouyou thought he was going to start a fight over this now, he was more than wrong. One of them had to act like an adult and it clearly wasn't and had never been Kouyou.

"Of course she still cares about you, she always will. But you have to accept that Yuu and I are the most important people in her life now. And no matter of times you're trying to impress her will change that."

"Sure," Kouyou snorted, shaking his head as he kicked at a few loose rocks on the ground.

Akira merely gave him a disbelieving glance. Didn't Kouyou see that he was trying to cooperate?

"Listen, Takashima, I'm just going to say this once. I know Natsuko means a lot to you and I don't have anything against you seeing her as long as Yuu is alright with it. And as long as _you_ keep your hands off him."

There he had it. Akira was going to offer peace just once and now it was up to Kouyou and his stubbornness to decide whether he accepted it.

Kouyou stared at Akira, his face stricken with mixed emotions. To say he wasn't receptive to the idea was an absolute understatement.

Honestly, he was just battling with himself at this moment - keep his hands off Yuu? Wasn't that’s what he had been doing lately?

No, what was he doing, really? The plan that had been born in the first place was now manifesting to something stupid. Yuu was never not going to approve of it and there was nothing good Kouyou would gain from that.

So now Kouyou was questioning where had the feelings he had harbored for Yuu went to, from all those years.

All those years...

Years that felt like a total waste. So now it came down to this: Was he on the right track when the goal was to hurt the one he loved and make Yuu hate him even more? Should it be like that? Oh, did _he still love Yuu?_  Kouyou could only feel pain and sorrow when he thought about him.    

Kouyou was shaken, sighing through trembling lips. This was tiring. They hadn't said anything for the past ten minutes but it felt as if he had gotten himself into a physical fight with Akira.

He glanced at the brown-haired man with a different expression this time, then smiled a little when he saw Natsuko looking at him through the windshield. When he turned and walked to his car, he tried not to crumble, but the sound of Akira's footsteps fading in the distance gave him the surge to leave the place, to leave everything in Tokyo, and so that was what he'd decided.

"Papa, is everything alright?" Natsuko immediately asked when Akira opened the driver's door. "Kou-chan looked sad..."

Akira settled in the seat and grabbed the steering wheel, staring ahead and feeling unsure on how to reply to her. From her voice, he could tell how concerned his little girl was about Kouyou.

"Well, he was sad over something, but I think he's probably figuring out how to overcome it. Let's hope for that."

Natsuko kept her eyes on Kouyou's car as it left, before she slowly nodded her head, looking however very thoughtful. She leaned back in her seat while hugging her bag and watching father as he drove the car.

Out of sudden her eyes lit up and she smiled excitedly.

"Oh right, Papa! I learned something new today! Do you want to know what it was?"

"Yeah, sure. I'm all ears." Akira smiled back at her. Thank goodness, they needed another topic to talk about and he could really use it right now to keep the whole confrontation thing with Kouyou off his mind.

***

Maybe it was too late to take his words back. Akira had to bear with the frustration of not remembering to give signals, hit the brakes and a ridiculously blushing face while he answered Natsuko's questions for the rest of the ride. You could imagine what her questions were like and how Akira struggled and failed to avoid them. If only Yuu was there to save him. But this was bonding time with his daughter, and Akira accepted it and hoped he would be able to survive.

Thankfully, it ended just as they arrived at the front door of Akira’s apartment.

"Wahh Papa's apartment is huge!" Natsuko literally gaped when she entered his place and looked at everything around her - the furniture, the minimalist wall decoration, the neat shelves of books and—

"A piano?" She squeaked and before Akira could respond she was already making her way to the grand musical instrument which had her Papa shaking his head at her. "It's a white piano! So pretty."

"Thank you." Akira smiled.

"This is amazing! You know how to play it like my music teacher. How many songs can you play, Papa?" She sat down on the bench Akira had pulled for her. His initial plan to spend the afternoon with Natsuko was supposed to make flower crowns with her. He had even bought an exclusive Do-It-Yourself flower crowns kit but maybe they could get on it later.

"Quite a number of them, I learned how to play piano when I was in the university." He watched as Natsuko awkwardly placed her fingers on a few keys and looked even more excited at the sounds as they were produced. When she kept pressing several other black and white keys, Akira quietly placed his foot on the sustaining pedal and this time the sounds lingered. Natsuko stopped for a second and looked up at her Papa with sparkling eyes. Seeing the newfound interest in them, Akira chuckled and patted her head to encourage her to continue.

Natsuko fiddled with her fingers for a moment, she wasn’t embarrassed to say what was on her mind. "I want to learn how to play piano. I need to! Please Papa, can you teach me?"

"Of course, I think I can teach you the basic songs first." He could think of a few simple children's songs that were probably familiar with her, which was already a good thing. Man, it feels nice to know you could do more things to spend quality time with your daughter. Maybe this could give more reasons for Yuu to send her over during the weekends.

"Oh, Natsuko. You know Dad's birthday is soon right? I think I have an idea for it."


End file.
